A Story of Abuse and Neglect

A series in The Des Moines Register this week has me intrigued. The story is of a teenager, Tracey Dyess, who was sexually abused since the age of 4 by several different men. Awhile back she poured gasoline throughout the house and started it on fire, killing her sister and brother. The intended victim, her step-father, escaped. You can read the series here.

I have no first hand knowledge of sexual abuse. I don’t believe I even know anyone who has been a victim. I always thought it was bad, gross, and mean. But it’s oh so much worse than that. This story has opened my eyes about how deep the scars are, how sexual abuse can ruin a person until they are simple a shell of a human being. In many situations, the abuse is covered up and ignored – which only causes it to be passed on from generation to generation. Such is the case with Tracey.

I’ve thought a lot about Tracey’s mother. I should rephrase that – she was no kind of mother. She had been abused as a child. She was married three times, never bothering to divorce any of them. She met Tracey’s father while she was hitchhiking – he happened to be the trucker who picked her up. When Tracey and her twin sister were born, the mother said she didn’t “connect” with them because they were premature and purple. She moved her kids countless times, and the kids did not have regular education because of it. She was a prostitute, having her “clients” in a bed right next to Tracey’s bed when Tracey was just a toddler. She wasn’t just a bad mother – she was simply not a mother.

When Tracey turned 4, the abuse started. It continued until the day she burned the house down. She said she enjoys prison because for the first time in her life, she feels safe.

My question is this: as a society, what in the world do we do with this situation? I don’t have the answers. Is Tracey to blame for starting the fire which killed her two siblings? In the article, she said she never intended to kill anyone, even her step-father. She just simply wanted everything to STOP. Tracey has been victimized by everyone that she SHOULD have been able to trust – her mother, her step-fathers, her step-grandfather. She never knew a normal life. And now she is having to pay the price. Unfortunately her siblings paid the ultimate price.