Friday, February 16, 2007

Ford Festiva vs. Chrysler Pacifica

Dear Ford Festiva Lady,

It occurred to me this morning that you have no clue, so let me fill you in on some rules.

Rule 1
When you drop your child off at school, there is no reason to park right next to the car next to you. This is especially true when the car next to you is dent-free and clean, while yours is covered in dents, not clean, and appears to be a piece of crap.

Rule 2
You probably parked right next to me because your windows were so filthy you could not see out of them. I’ll give you the three bucks for a car wash if it will keep you the hell away from my car.

Rule 3
When your child throws her door into the car next to you, so much to make the car shake, at least acknowledge it. Yeah, I got out and assessed the damage. I waited for you to also get out of your car but you were chicken. You were probably scared of my black leather high heel boots, which is a correct assessment. I could kick your ass all the way to moon with these babies.

Rule 4
When you’ve just damaged someone’s car and that person is standing at your window and glaring at you, don’t sit in your car, hat pulled over your head, staring straight ahead. It’s a sure sign that you don’t have insurance.

Love always,