Tuesday, April 03, 2007

An Open Letter to My Partner in Crime

Dear Body –

As you may or may not be aware of, swimsuit season is fast approaching. (And I’m leaning toward the fact that you are indeed NOT aware of that.) I’m not asking for much. It’s not my goal to have the body of a model. I just want to look and feel healthy. I want to wear a swimsuit without covering all up in sweatpants and sweatshirt when it’s 100 degrees outside.

I’m so confused. I don’t know what you need and what you don’t need. I’ve been reading all types of articles about what to feed you. First it was no carbs. Then it was no fat. Then it was yes to the carbs, but only the good carbs. Then it was no to the sugar. And yes to grains. No to aspartame, but also no to non-diet pop. Yes to water, but no to flavored water with too much sugar. No to bread, but yes to whole grain bread. No to beef, but yes to chicken. But not fried chicken. Yes to vegetables, but no to potatoes. Yes to fruits, but they also contain sugar so not too many fruits. Yes to calcium, but no to ice cream, cheese and milk.

On a show the other day, the nutritionist said that a meal that is healthy will be “colorful” due to the variety of fruits and vegetables. Brown = bad. But then I’m told that everything should be whole wheat/whole grain. In other words, brown.

So from what I’ve gathered, here is what I can feed you: plain ole water. Here’s to never being dehydrated again.