Hurts

It's amazing how you can go through the motions, start taking care of business and paperwork, keep busy, and you start to think "Maybe I can do this."

Then, while putting away laundry, it hits you.

I suppose this is one of the "official" steps of grief. Because right now I'm so angry at what we're missing out on. Other kids get to grow up with all their grandparents. Other women get to ask their Dad's advice. Other families get to go on family vacations with the whole family. Other daughters are able to have their father approve of how they are investing their money. Other sons get to have their Dad guide them into being men. Other people get to celebrate their parents' 40th wedding anniversary with one of those silly "card" parties.

We don't get any of that anymore.

This grief crap is definitely day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. The pain is more than anyone should have to bear. It hurts, oh does it hurt.