Saturday, September 30, 2006

Random Thoughts from the Kansas Speedway

Lady in front of us today: I see you have one of those mini fans with you. You would not need that if you would have left the black long sleeve shirt at home, along with the black cowboy hat, black jeans and black cowboy boots. This isn’t a Johnny Cash concert.

Man Behind Us: Have you picked up on my nasty looks today? Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow with them. See, I don’t appreciate being an ashtray. Apparently you thought it was fine to smoke one after another, dumping your ashes all over us.

Drunk Man a Few Rows Down: Must you turn around and be obnoxious at each yellow flag? I’m never that obnoxious when I’m drunk.

To the guys at the DeWalt booth – Could you not tell that my son had been in line for a LONG time to participate in the drilling challenge? What the hell made you think you could just walk up to the front of the line in front of all those kids?

To the lady at the Jeff Gordon merchandise trailer: LADY – You drove me INSANE! Couldn’t you see the ginormous line behind you? For the love of god, this is not a shopping mall. When it’s your turn, here is an example of what you say: “I need item 22 in a large.” Then you give them money and get the hell out of the way. You should not be allowed to ask them to pull out every single shirt they have and examine it thoroughly.

To the guy at the Jimmie Johnson trailer: You just asked which of their shirts came in long sleeves. Can’t you freakin see all the shirts hanging up? If it has long sleeves, Einstein, then it comes in long sleeves.

To Max: Thanks for letting Flat Stanley come with us. He had a great time!