Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A Special Invitation

I received a “special invitation” tonight. A very elegant house in our town is on the market for $359,000. I’ve been invited to a special showing next Tuesday night. Wine and cheese will be served. The owner is an artist and they will be giving away a print every 30 minutes.

Here are the reasons I will not be attending the special showing of the $359,000 home.

1. I don’t drink wine.

2. I like Velveeta, and I’m pretty sure that’s not what they mean by “cheese”. I also like the marbled orange and white cheese, but I’m sure that’s not what they mean either. Their cheese will probably be filled with crap I don’t like.

3. There is a law that states that people who like Velveeta should never step foot in a home valued at $359,000.

4. I’m pretty sure I don’t have the appropriate clothing to wear to such an event.

5. The backyard neighbor to this home is white trash.