Sunday, June 15, 2008

The First Father's Day

Dear Dad -
This morning when I woke up, I had nobody to call to wish a Happy Father's Day. As you know, Andy, Luke and I always had a race to see who could call you first. There was no race this morning.
I thought about you all day long, though. I guess I think about you every single day so this day was no different, except for a little bit sadder.
Life without you is hard. It never even occurred to me that I would be in this position - I thought you'd be around forever. But as hard as it is, I'm doing ok. I'm still devastated but I'm not going to let your death take this family down. As strange as it may sound, I'm thinking it will make this family stronger. We will appreciate each other more. We will tell each other "I love you" more. We will enjoy life more because we know how precious each day is.
You would be proud of Green and Three. Green is still scared of the whole situation and doesn't like to talk about you, but I know that's because he loved you so much and is still struggling. He does collect the coins and golf balls you send down to him though. He treasures those and keeps them in his bedroom. Three talks about you a lot. He received his first "B" on his report card due to missing so much school around your funeral. When he got his report card, he shook his fist up to Heaven and yelled, "Darn you Grandpa!". They both keep their own urns in their bedroom. Jade keeps his put away but Three has his right next to his bed. Those boys love you so much.
I know you are watching over us. I know you were with us on our trip to Florida. I know you are sitting with me in my (our) office at work. Stay nearby because we need you to help us continue on this long, strange journey.
I love you and miss you terribly -
Dad on March 21, less than an hour before his death.