I'm Too Thin

Nobody has ever told me I was too thin. But yesterday it happened. Apparently I’m too thin.

Was I excited? No, not in the least. Was I feeling good about myself? Umm…no. Was I so mad about the comment that smoke was coming out of my ears. No, but only because I don’t know how to make smoke come out of my ears.

You’re probably thinking someone said, “Green3, you are just too thin. You need to have some of this chocolate cake.” So then I proceeded to eat the entire cake. No, that’s not what happened, but it would have been awesome to eat an entire chocolate cake.

Or maybe you thought this is what they said, “Green3, you are just too thin to wear size 3 jeans. You really must go down to a zero.” No, not even close.

Here’s what actually happened. “Green3, your corneas are too thin. Your corneas are just not thick enough for us to do the LASIK surgery you so desperately desire. I’m afraid you’ll be wearing your contacts and ugly glasses for the rest of your life. Good luck with that.”

‘nuff said