She Is...

I'm proud to nominate Sandy for a Perfect Post Award for her February 7 post called I Am. I don't know Sandy IRL, but I can tell she is a fun, caring person who I would be honored to call a friend. Her blog post makes you smile, giggly, and cry all at once. I encourage you to stop by and read her blog, but especially read I Am. You'll be glad you did.

Check out other Perfect Posts, hosted by Suburban Turmoil and MommaK.

Top 10 Reasons I Love My February 29th Birthday

10. My house isn’t all cluttered with thoughtful birthday presents.

9. My kids take me to school for show & tell.

8. Though it’s not legal, I pay taxes once every 4 years too.

7. How many of you got a car for your 4th birthday?

6. I still pay children’s prices at the theater.

5. Lack of birthday cake has kept me relatively thin.

4. There’s nothing good about it. I just wanted to guilt you in to leaving a comment on my blog.

3. Dumb people think you are supernatural.

2. For 3 out of every 4 years, I get to celebrate whenever the hell I want.

And the number 1 reason I like having a birthday on February 29,

1. Between my birthday and the damn groundhog, February is a month long party.



Some items on this list have been ripped off from Letterman.

Non-Green3 Blog Topics

I haven’t had much to write about lately. My life has consisted of the constant flow of laundry, getting income taxes prepared, blizzard-like conditions and cat poop on the carpet. And seriously, who wants to read about that crap?

I have still had time to monitor other blogs though – ones I don’t normally read. I’ve run across a wide range of topics. While searching through them, I almost burst out laughing at some topics. Not because they were necessarily funny. They are just blog entries that you’ll never read about here at The Green 3.

So now I present you with a list blog headings that you will never read about here…

How to Organize Ribbons

How to Organize Extra Buttons.

Hell, How to Organize Anything

Homeschooling Tips
Don’t email me about this. I have strong opinions about homeschooling but I respect your opinion – even if I think you are dead wrong.

Ann Coulter Knows What She’s Talking About

Documentaries are For Dorks

I promise I’ll be back with a vengence for some good ‘ol fashion blogging. I’ve got my list of blog topics ready for next week’s Ultimate Blog Party,

Tomorrow’s my birthday, so could you send some love my way and post a comment on my blog? De-lurk for the love of my birthday!

It's Hot in Topeka

I can't tell you how many people make their way to my blog by searching on "I'm a Hot Toe Picker." I hope like hell they are fans of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. And if they aren't, GROSS!

Cool Stuff

Here's some cool stuff I've found tonight while surfing instead of cleaning or doing something productive:

Cold Stone coupon - buy one get one free
expires 2/28

SmartSampling.com - register and you get to request various free samples. Another blogger friend vouched for this site and said she has received everything she's ever requested.

I'm downloading this software and will provide a review once I start using it. A free family organization software that I can log on from ANYWHERE? Can't thing of anything better than that!

Google will give you $10.00 to spend if you sign up with their shopping account. Even if you only us it once, it's a free ten bucks!

Check out this blog. She has an amazing collection of links to free stuff in her Free Friday posts.

Ultimate Blog Party

So I’ll be participating in the Ultimate Blog Party, as you can see by that new button on the right. The rules state that I’m supposed to post that week about ME, which will be awesome because I’m sure everyone out there in blog world wants to know more about green3. But I’m torn about exactly what I can share that will make people love me and want to come back to my blog again and again and again and post all sorts of crazy comments.

Do I share about how I’m a Democrat who plans to campaign heartily for Hillary Clinton because I think she rocks? Don’t hate her because she’s a female who speaks her mind, folks. And speaking of that…

Will people love me if I tell them that this feels like my theme song these days?
I was born in the south
Sometimes I have a big mouth
When I see something that I don't like
I gotta say it
All true, and I was born south of Minneapolis. That’s what Sheryl Crow meant, right?

Will anyone have a “to be read” bookshelf in common with mine?
Arlington National Cemetary: Shrine to America’s Heroes
Hannibal
A Rose for Her Grave

Are there other bloggers out there who have used the online thesaurus to find a synonym for “whore”?

Yes, I’m sure I’ll meet some lovely new friends out there. If you want to join along, follow the link on the side and get yourself signed up.

Urgent, Not by Foreigner

I have an urgency problem, but it has nothing to do with urinating. My problem is that when an idea pops into my head, I have to deal with it immediately. This drives me absolutely crazy, and I’m sure it drives the people around me crazy.

The main reason it drives me crazy is that there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that might come into my head. Here are some of the things that seem to be of urgency today:

• Laundry needs to be folded and put away
• Today is bill paying day
• Need to get tax information ready for the tax dude
• In the middle of developing a web page for my kids to use
• The entire house needs to be cleaned
• I want to get meals prepared for the whole week

Oh yeah, and none of that can happen until I finish work today.

And those are just the mundane tasks that need to get done. This list doesn’t even consider the “bigger picture” to do list that I continually swirling in my head. All of which seems urgent for some reason. We have big goals for ourselves (we being me and hubs) but I want them to happen right now. Where is my magic genie when I need her?

I Don't Laugh Out Loud

When I laugh, it's just kind of an inner "ha ha" type of thing. I don't laugh out loud for some reason. I don't know why because I LOVE comedy and humor. But I could watch a comedy show and sit there all night and not laugh out loud. I'll smile and think to myself, "That was awesome," but I very rarely laugh out loud. I don't get it, but whatever.

But then one of my Netflix comedy shows arrived and I was introduced to Lewis Black. He.Cracks.Me.Up....OUT LOUD! Enjoy...



And that was just a sample. I suggest you You Tube him. He rocks.

Ford Festiva vs. Chrysler Pacifica

Dear Ford Festiva Lady,

It occurred to me this morning that you have no clue, so let me fill you in on some rules.

Rule 1
When you drop your child off at school, there is no reason to park right next to the car next to you. This is especially true when the car next to you is dent-free and clean, while yours is covered in dents, not clean, and appears to be a piece of crap.

Rule 2
You probably parked right next to me because your windows were so filthy you could not see out of them. I’ll give you the three bucks for a car wash if it will keep you the hell away from my car.

Rule 3
When your child throws her door into the car next to you, so much to make the car shake, at least acknowledge it. Yeah, I got out and assessed the damage. I waited for you to also get out of your car but you were chicken. You were probably scared of my black leather high heel boots, which is a correct assessment. I could kick your ass all the way to moon with these babies.

Rule 4
When you’ve just damaged someone’s car and that person is standing at your window and glaring at you, don’t sit in your car, hat pulled over your head, staring straight ahead. It’s a sure sign that you don’t have insurance.

Love always,
green3

Life in the Fast Lane

I want to give a shout out to my good friend momof4greatkids, who has access to high speed Internet today!

I'm not much of an organizer, but here is something I do know.

Are you tired of going to all of your favorite blogs several times each day to see if a new entry has been posted? If you say no, then you must have a Bloglines account. If you scream YES, IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!, then I’m pretty sure you need to click over to Blogging Basics 101 and read up on Bloglines.

Bloglines allows you to sign up for an account, which then lets you add all the links to your favorite blogs. The site monitors all of your blogs for you and informs you of when a new post is available. What a timesaver!

By the way, Blogging Basics 101 is a site every newbie should visit. Heck, even if you are not a newbie I guarantee you’ll learn something. I know those girls over there and they are wicked smart.

No Pun Intended

Here's a little humor for my blogging buddies. Hope your Valentine's Day is awesome!

Note: I've updated my other blog if you have any interest in checking those out. The links are to the right.


1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says toDolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

Is It Me?

Maybe I'm the father of Anna Nicole's baby.

Dudes

Green and 3 are determined to grow their hair out. And I have chosen to pick my battles, which this is not one of. My only rule was that they had to wait until after Christmas. So I now present two handsome boys with shaggy hair.


And just so you know, they are VERY handsome with trimmed hair.

One Word Meme

I stole this from Sandy, who stole it from someone else. That's what blog friends are for, right?

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not as easy as you might think...



1. Where is your cellphone?
purse

2. Your spouse/signifant other?
fun

3. Your hair?
short

4. Your favorite item?
Wireless

5. Your dream last night?
unknown

6. Your favorite drink?
dew

7. Your dream car?
SUV

8. The room you are in?
basement

9. Your Fear?
kids

10.What do you want to be in 10 years?
happy

11. Who did you hang out with last night?
family

12. What you're not?
athletic

13. Muffins?
nope

14. One of your wish list items?
Property

15. Time?
bedtime

16. The last thing you did?
scorekeeper

17. What are you wearing?
sweats

18. Your favorite weather?
hot

19. Your favorite book?
Non-fiction

20. The last thing you ate?
pudding

21. Your life?
hectic

22. Your mood?
hopeful

23. Your best friend?
Hubs

24. What are you thinking about right now?
vacations

25. Your car?
Pacifica

26. What are you doing at the moment?
meme

27. Your summer?
fast

28. Your relationship status?
married

29. What is on your tv?
dust

30. The weather?
tundra

31. When is the last time you laughed?
today

32. Last time you cried?
unknown

I assume this means I'll be getting a refund? or maybe a reufnd?

So in my last post I was all, "Neener neener neener. I've got new appliances and you don't. I love my new stuff and I have so much counter space now" and all that jazz. But I may have forgotten to tell you that I'm a cheap ass. I had no intention of spending a lot of money on those new appliances, so I found the features I needed and bought the cheapest one available.

Which brings me to my Euro-Pro toaster oven. I'm sure some of you have uppity appliances such as Oster, Kenmore, Maytag, and whatnot. Not us. We stick with Euro-Pro.

And now we're paying the price. Or maybe I should say "priec". Take a close look at the snapshot of the Euro-Pro below. Oh yes...the power button is labeled "POEWR".

Oh - I'm Supposed to Change That?

A major milestone happened in the green3 household today. It's something we avoided for 11 years. We tried to ignore it. It was a sensitive issue and each time one of us brought it up, the other one ran like hell. But Hubs and I finally looked at each other this morning and decided we had to step up and address it before it took over our home and our lives, even if it was going to be traumatic for us.

The vent over the stove, the filter that had sucked (or from what I could see, not sucked) our grease for the past 11 years, had to be changed.

We both looked at the ominous task lying before us this morning. We covered our hands in paper towels and carefully unscrewed the cover. I wish I had a picture to show you, but frankly I was not thinking, "Hey, a photo op!", while I was chisling the filter loose from the cover. At least I think it was a filter - it was hard to tell.

We made a trip to the city to purchase a replacement filter, but to our surprise there is apparently a limited supply of replacement filters for overhead vents that were installed in 1954.

And speaking of gross stuff, I also decided to tackle the microwave this morning. If you have a microwave that is 8+ years old, open the door and take a look at the ceiling of it. Or if you have a weak stomach, make your spouse do it. If you see what I saw, you'll immediately unplug it and haul it out to the garbage. "Hey Honey, could you also put microwave on our shopping list?"

Hubs replied, "Well, since we're getting rid of gross crap, take a look at that toaster oven. You know, the one you've been trying to scrub clean for the past year. Yeah, that needs to go too." Check.

Since my kitchen is nice and clean (or I should say, NEW) tonight, I've decided I'm not cooking for a few weeks. I don't want to mess things up. We can just pick up some fast food as we search the country looking for a 1954 stove vent filter.