Computer Woes

So I’m innocently sitting at my desk trying to catch up from vacation. I take a few moments to also post a short message on my blog, along with a photo. Then I go back to work, doing the hum drum things of office work.

I’m trying to capture a screen shot of a portion of my using the program SnagIt, to show someone my email “situation” that I’m dealing with. For some reason, I can’t find the dang picture after I’ve grabbed it. What the hell. I had this same problem earlier when trying to download the picture for my blog. I mess around a little bit with it when suddenly…to my horror…I realize the problem. My SnagIt program is set to export my screen shot DIRECTLY TO A PRINTER. Shit.

I peer out my office door. Somewhere out there in cubicle land, someone is hold a picture of Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, wondering what the hell is going on.

I’m going to play dumb.

I Don't Understand

Now there are a lot of things in this world that I don't understand, but here is one thing I really don't understand. What made Pam Anderson look at Kid Rock and say, "Oh yeah...I need a piece of THAT!"

10 Things I Can't Do

Chilihead started this, so here I go!

10 Things I Cannot Do

I can’t run – My two sons can beat me, even though my legs are twice as long. I think it would be awesome to be a runner, but I hate even walking.

I can’t go to bed early at night – I’m such a night owl. I love watching TLC or A&E late at night. Plus, it's the only time when I get some flippin' peace and quiet around here.

I can’t drink a lot without getting sick – Just ask my friends. I’ve been majorly hung over several times in the past few months.

I can’t sew – Heck, this isn’t even a skill I need, is it? If something REALLY needs to be fixed, DH can sew well enough to get it taken care of…if I can find a needle. Otherwise I pitch it and buy new.

I can’t get a handle on my landscaping projects – I love to work in the yard, but this summer we were so busy that the weeds have totally taken over. And now it’s almost August, so what’s the point? I pulled a weed yesterday that was so tall and had roots so deep, I pulled my back out just trying to get the dang thing out of the flower bed. I think that's a bad sign.

I can’t just sit and do nothing – I always have to be doing something, but I think that comes from having so much to do. I even had our pool to myself the other day, tried to float around in there in the peace and quiet, and my mind was too busy focused on things that had to be done. So I got out and got back to work. Dang…what I wouldn’t give to be a lazy person for just one day!

I can’t keep my bedroom clean – Disaster, all the time. Nobody ever goes in there except for me and DH, so it doesn’t make any sense to make it all fancy or keep it clean. Shoes, clothes and books are everywhere.

I can’t get my husband to bring the garbage cans back in after the garbage truck has picked up all the garbage – I’m serious. Our garbage is picked up on Friday mornings. I have left them out there until Monday morning sometimes just trying to prove a point. That point was apparently taken by someone else before it reached my husband.

I can’t wear socks that have the seam at the tip of the toes - I mean, they get all garbled up in your shoes and you have to take your shoes off several times throughout the day to get them all straightened around. I’m not a “hosiery” person, and thank goodness my job does not require me to wear hose. Cause I tell ya what, I’d have to resort to therapy to get me through the day with seams at the end of my toes. Even with socks with “normal” seams require me to very carefully put on my shoes just to make sure the seams end up in a comfortable spot.

I can’t stay away from the computer – Hello, I’m green3 and I’m an Internet/email addict.

I can’t stand it when I see typographical errors or misuse of punctuation – I bought a shirt at Target for my son, got it home, and noticed a major error on the front of it. “This is what the world’s best baseball player look’s like.”

I can't cound to 10, because there are now 12 items on this list.

Things I Saw on my Vacation to the Twin Cities!

Dead Bodies – Not your idea of a vacation, eh? While at the Science Center of Minnesota, DH and I went through the BodyWorlds exhibit. Weird at first, then interesting. The most interesting part was a woman who was 8 months pregnant. Her body was opened so you could see how the baby was sitting in there. VERY awesome to see. There were also embryos in the various stages of development. If you have the opportunity to go, I recommend it.

A Kid Faint – Yeah, a pre-teen kid standing near me at the BodyWorlds exhibit fainted. Can’t blame him. That is exactly why my pre-teen kid was not in there with me.

Tattoos Galore! – What the heck? Am I the only person in the world that hates tattoos? We were at a water park and I swear every adult had a tattoo. Even one of the bodies in BodyWorlds exhibit had a tattoo on his arm. Of course it was hard to tell what his was because his body was sliced into 5 layers.

Extreme Bravery – J, who is 6, rode every single roller coaster and water slide. It was the first trip where we’ve all been able to enjoy the same things, and it was so much fun. T, age 9, even rode the surfing wave thing at the waterpark. He’s a kid who always takes the “safe” route, so for him to do this was so much fun to watch. They were both so proud of themselves. And so were we.


Extreme “Daddy” – DH did NOT want to do the surfing wave thing, but the boys really wanted Daddy to do it. So, of course, he did. Awwwwwww.

Naughty Kids - It was our first trip to a science center. There should have been an exhibit on “Why parents allow their kids to be little shits.” Here are a few comments that ran through my head that day. If only I was better at dealing with confrontation, they probably would have actually come out of my mouth:

“Could you get off your damn cell phone and tell your kid that her turn is UP?”

“Why do mothers make their kids wear dark blue socks with white tennis shoes? Do they have any idea what they are doing to their kids?” (Ok, I actually said this one out loud to DH.)

“You appear to be oblivious to the fact that your kid is SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF! Get him out of here!”

First Aid Station – we only had to visit it once, so we consider that a success. Said injury is below.

LOVED THIS VACATION!!!!

(I can't get the dang pics here. You'll just have to wait on those.)

A "How Not To Spend Your Weekend" Guide

Yes, I’m sure you’ve missed my presence this weekend. (I like to pretend that I have an enormous blog following.) Despite the beautiful summer weather outside, I was stuck in my house all weekend. I was totally in de-cluttering mode.

I would guess that people who know me are aware of my cluttering habits. My house is usually clean (as in carpet vacuumed, dishes put away, toilets clean) but always has clutter sitting around. It finally overwhelmed me Friday and I decided to take control of the situation.

I was going to take a before and after shot of each room, but once I got going there was no stopping me. I took bathroom breaks and threw morsels of food at the chillins once in awhile, but other than that I was ON. THE. MOVE. So the only before and after shots I have to show you are of the toy room. It was by the far the worst, with our office coming in at an extremely close second place.

Did you SEE that? UGH...looking at it makes me sick. And also makes me thankful it's not Friday night again and I'm just getting started.

So I told the boys that I would clean this room up but from then on it was up to them. (I didn't really want them around while I was doing this because a lot of it got pitched!)

So after many hours and many trips out to the garbage can, I am proud to present you with THIS!!

Ahh....Toyroom Sweet Toyroom. And remember this was only ONE of the rooms I tackled this weekend!

Dear Garbage Men:

I know you were just here on Thursday, but would it be possible for you to come again tomorrow? Especially before this massive pile is discovered by either my boys or my dog? Or by my neighbors who will wonder where all this shit came from? I've enclosed a photo to help convince you of how urgent this request is. Thank you for your time.

Ms. green3

Poker Friday

Most kids would wake up and watch some cartoons. My kids just rolled out of bed, came upstairs, turn on World Poker Tournament and took out the chips. Nothin' like poker early on a Friday morning.

Attn: SoBe Beverage Company - READ THIS POST!

Very rarely do I get really excited about a particular product that’s on the market. While on my last journey to Colorado, my brother had me try SoBe Lean Citrus. He drinks it every. Single. Day. So I tried it. AND TOTALLY LOVED IT. And therin lies the problem.

They don’t sell this freakin’ stuff where I live! I have access to all the heavy versions and the Lean Green Tea – but zilch when it comes to Lean Citrus. I’ve talked to all the local grocery stores, emailed Pepsi headquarters (who distributes it) and my gas stations. “Can’t get it” is their only reply. Why the heck can’t you? If you get a row of them in your cooler, I promise I will buy every single one of them!

So my two brothers are coming back next week for a visit and I told them to make the rounds of Denver and buy EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE of SoBe Lean Citrus you can find. (Because not only do they have it out there, but it’s also less than $1.00 per bottle!) So I’m anxiously awaiting a full Jeep load of the stuff next week. I can hardly wait.

And what's up with all you people reading my blog and not posting any comments? I LOVE that you are visiting me, but I want to HEAR from you!!

Snobby Mom

J, age 6, was invited to a friend’s house today. DH called me at work to ask if it was ok if J went to house to play. ABSOLUTELY NOT, I replied! Well, apparently they were sitting in the driveway waiting to pick J up by the time I got involved, but I did not back down.

So here is why I responded the way that I did:

1. I have never spoken to the parents and have no idea where they live. We live in a small town, but still!
2. The crowd the parents run in is…well…not a crowd I would choose. Lots of drug use, unstable marriages (now they are together, now they are not), etc.
3. I can’t control who their friends are later in life, but I can certainly control them now.

So do I feel bad? A little bit. It’s not the child’s fault. And he just wanted to play with my son for a few hours. Maybe I’ll find out a few years down the road that it would have been totally ok to send him. Until I get to that point, though, FORGET IT!

WFMW: Stinky Shoes

Here is how to fix your stinky shoe problem! Simply put each shoe in a Ziploc back and stick them in the freezer overnight. If they are REALLY stinky, you may need to spray them with Febreeze ahead of time.

My personal notes on this tip:

1. I do not have stinky feet or shoes.
2. Shoes will be frozen after removing them from the freezer. (I liken this to the warning on McDonald’s coffee cups. CONTENTS ARE HOT)
3. If you get frostbite from wearing frozen shoes, then…well…all I can really do is laugh at you.
4. If this works, let me know. I have no first hand knowledge of this tip working since I have not tried it myself.

For more tips, check out WFMW Goddess at Rocks in my Dryer.

Internet Truths

Sorry for those of you who kept checking back yesterday hoping to read my second post. I could not post my second entry due to the fact that I was in a heated battle with my Internet connection all afternoon.

So in honor of the Internet, and for all of you who keep forwarding me crap because it will "bring me good luck", I present Internet Truths.

Internet Truths

author unknown, or maybe stricken with an unknown illness becuase he didn't forward that one email to 10 people

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's, (sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC. Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press 90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green m&ms, but if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your wife will develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the government will put a tax on your e-mails forever.

I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.

It's SUMMER, what are you expecting?

Yes, I live in one of those areas where it’s unbearable hot out this week. I’m one of those people who is anti-air conditioning, but this week I’m all for it.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m PMSing or what, but I cannot listen to another person mention any of these lines:

• “It’s hot.”
• “Man, is it hot.”
• “It’s so hot.”
• “Aren’t you hot?”
• “What is the temperature?”
• “I’m sweating.”
• “Dang, it’s hot.”
• “Dang, it’s hot.”

I’ll be back for another post later. I’ll be in a much better mood after I down my Diet Dew. And cool off, because MAN IT’S HOT.

SWEET

Not bad, out of a possible 100.

I'm All In!

We’re a “game” family. You want to play a game? We’re…eh…game! (heh heh).

So our latest game addiction is POKER. Yes, the 4 of us sit around playing Texas Hold Em at least once a week. Is it ok for a 6- and 9-year old to be able to use the words “check”, “river” and “all in” correctly in a sentence? Is it bad that I bought them a Poker game for their GameBoys? I don’t know why I see poker as a “bad” game. DH and I are not gamblers – in fact if we ever get to Vegas, I doubt we’ll spend a single cent on gambling. We’re not against it, we just don’t get into it. But we do love a good game!

So here are the things my kids are learning by playing poker (or so I tell myself):

• They are learning to count by ones, fives, tens and twenty-fives. T is 9 and is very good at math, so he is in charge of making sure everyone throws in the correct number of chips. J is only 6 but he know exactly how many chips he needs to put in the pot.
• T and J are both knowledgeable in poker hands, which I totally think is a “life skill”. How would they feel if they were 35 years old and they thought a royal flush was really a toilet at Buckingham Palace?
• It lets us have uninterrupted, quality family time. With our busy schedule, that’s hard to come by these days. So when I think we’ve run low on the family time meter, we pull out the chips.
  They are learning to lose. Well, kind of. The other night it was down to DH and T. T had gone all in and it came down to the last card. Of course DH ended up winning the hand, which caused tears to suddenly stream down T’s face. “Hey, man, there’s no cryin’ in poker!” Yes, I really did say that to him. Well....there isn't!
  
  On a totally unrelated subject, I just had a Market Fresh Ham from Arby’s and DANG are those onions strong!!

Pardon me while I step up on my soapbox...

Someone told me yesterday, “You just have it all, don’t you? Good kids, a good marriage, a good job, enough money to get the things you want. You are so lucky.”

My dear friends, yes – there have been instances of “luck” along the way, but I also believe that you put yourselves in situations where luck is more likely to happen. Here are some tips of things to do/not do to be successful. And this is totally my opinion, I’m no expert.

**sidenote before you get started…I don’t consider myself a goody two shoes, so I’m definitely not doing this as a “preachy” thing.

1. If I look your name up on the “online court” system and find your name more than 4-5 times, you are doing it wrong. And if these listing are more than just for everyday traffic violations, then you are REALLY doing it wrong. Go ahead, look me up if you are lucky enough to know my name. You will not find me.
2. Education. Not having any money is not an excuse, because an education can come in various forms. Your library has books and resources that are available to you for FREE! You can learn about anything there, such as HTML, Microsoft Office, jewelry making, gardening, politics, and investing. If you want to learn it, there is a way to do it for free. And if it requires a degree, there are grants and low-interest loans to get you going. It is my firm belief that we must never stop learning.
3. Surround yourself with the right people. I’ve got an excellent support system around me. I love my family dearly. And I have a group of friends who I LOVE and we do things together all the time. My family and my friends totally define who I am and what kind of life I have.
4. When you make a decision, base it on what YOU think is right. Do not make it based on what you think others want you to do.
5. If you are not making enough money to pay the bills, you need to do a little brainstorming. If you are already working, maybe you need to re-evaluate your job. Are you making what you are worth? Could you learn something (see # 3 above) which would allow you to get a different job? Could you start up your own business to pull in a little extra money on the side?
6. Get involved. Some introverts may disagree with me here. But if you are going to sit in your house all the time and not experience anything, how can that be satisfying? Life is happening all around you – get out there and enjoy it.
7. Get your priorities straight. This one really drives me crazy. If you can't afford to put gas in the car, you probably don't need to continue with that home remodeling project you've been working on for a year. You can't afford to register your kids for school but that golf cart sure comes in handy for your golf tournament play.

I'm really not a preachy know-it-all. I just play one on Blogger.

Do I really have time for this?

I'm going to throw out a few questions to you bloggers:

1. How do you not get addicted to checking your stats? Or checking in on your comments to see what friendly messages people have left me?

2. How do you not spend endless hours just perusing blogs? Seems like I start with one, link to another, then another, then another, and then a whole hour has passed. Make me ponder...do I really have time for this blogging stuff?

And last but not least...

3. Is is Friday yet?

Intellectual Destruction

First I must admit that I originally got this idea from Chilihead. I’m sure she won’t mind if I use it for my VERY FIRST Works for Me Wednesday.

I love to find projects that will keep my kinds entertained, as well as teach them a thing or two. My boys are totally into taking things apart right now. I work for a software company, so I have access to a whole bunch of computer “junk” which I take home to let my kids take apart. They get to investigate the inner workings of all these things, plus use their creativity. These are some monitors that I recently brought home.






Our town is having their city-wide garage sale on the 29th, so I plan to take full advantage of the deals and find more “junk” that they can take apart. I believe Chili used telephones in the past, so I’ll search for some of those. I’m also on the hunt for radios, remote controls, and anything else that people are selling really cheap.

For more handy tips, make sure to visit the WFMW goddess at Rocks in My Dryer.

Ranch Dip

I found this dip on allrecipes.com (one of my very favorite websites). I'm kind of a picky eater, so when I find something good I get so excited! My husband and I have made this like 4 times in the past week. Not too healthy, but man is it good.

Hints:
1. This recipe makes a TON. Do not make the whole batch unless you are going to a very large party! We have halved this recipe each time we've made it and we always end up throwing it away before it goes bad.

2. Don't be afraid of the cayenne pepper. I'm a wimp when it comes to spicy foods, but this adds just the right touch. Of course I didn't really measure anything while I was making this. I just dumped in the ingredients.

3. I've eaten this with potato chips with ridges, but I think it's best with those cracker things that look like sticks. Can't think of the name of them now...

Ranch Dip

INGREDIENTS:
2 (1 ounce) packages dry Ranch-style
dressing mix
1 (16 ounce) jar mayonnaise
1 (16 ounce) container sour cream
1 (8 ounce) container cottage cheese
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cayenne pepper

DIRECTIONS:
In a large bowl, mix together dry ranch-style dressing mix, mayonnaise, sour cream, cottage cheese, lemon juice, garlic salt, onion powder and cayenne pepper. Chill in the refrigerator until serving.

Passwords

My passwords have gotten out of hand. I had my “standard” online password that I used for everything. And then websites started getting picky and required a certain number of characters, sometimes with numbers or other characters. That’s when things went downhill.

I now have about 5 passwords that I try to stick to, but sometimes with modifications made to them to accommodate the website. And I forget which passwords go with which website. ARGH!! So here I am tonight, ready to post my first “real” entry on my blog, and for the life of me I cannot remember my password. And to make it even worse, I can’t remember which of my 5 email addresses I signed up with so I’m having trouble even using the “Forgot Password” option.

So here I sit, typing my blog into Microsoft Word. I will have to wait until I get to work tomorrow because I know exactly where the post-it note is sitting my desk, keeping my mystery usercode and password.

So the topic I had for my blog today will have to wait until tomorrow…when I have my password…

Who is this person?

Since I'm new to the blogging community, I thought I better share a little bit about who green3 is!

I’m very lucky to have a wonderful husband and two precious boys, T and J, who would just die if they heard me refer to them as “precious”. I work full time for a national software company, while my husband is an elementary teacher. We are also owners of a business, which is totally unrelated to software or teaching. Mix all that together, and you can probably tell that I have little down time!

T is almost 10 years old. My how time flies! He just told me last night, “Mom, do you realize that I will be a teenager in 3 ¼ years?” I looked at him and replied, “Please don’t say such naughty words to your mother.” He walked away grinning from ear to ear. While we’ve certainly had our moments, T is definitely our easy child. I very rarely have to ask him twice to do anything, and he’s so kind to everyone he meets. He LOVES babies and recently asked for a little sister. (not happening, but in case it did he would want to name her Tiffany or Samantha). He has such a tender heart.

J is 6 ½. Several times in the past few days he has told me, “Mom, I’m not really into the thinking stuff and the reading stuff. I just do sports.” While he is just as intelligent as his older brother, he’s definitely our sports freak. He’s already reading the sports page every day and his favorite channels on television are ESPN and ESPN2. He even watches ESPN Classic – last night we watched the 1997 NBA Final game. I was forced to explain what the heck was wrong with that Dennis Rodman dude!

So let’s see…I’ve got a husband, 2 kids, 2 cars, a cat and a dog. Is that average enough for you???

Well here I am...

So I'm back to "blog" world! I'll give it another whirl. I had a blog awhile back, but just could not find the time to keep it updated so I finally gave it up. But I found myself spending a lot of time each day reading all of your blogs and enjoying them immensely so here I am back in your arena!

I feel tremendous pressure to keep up with Chilihead and Shannon, but I'll do my best!