We Don't Do Hot Tubs

I don’t think I told you, but we are on a mini-vacation this weekend. We’re in Minneapolis. It’s close enough to home that it didn’t cost us a plane ticket, yet far enough away so we don’t have to do laundry.

So Hubs has major issues with hotels. When we are away from home overnight, we basically take our bed with us – we haul 4 blankets and 4 pillows. And we don’t walk around in our barefeet. And don’t even get me started about the pool and hot tub area.

Let me preface this by telling you that Hubs has his CPO (certified pool operator) certification. So he knows about the chemical balance in pools and hot tubs. And he also knows that public hot tubs are f-ing gross.

You know those bubbles that float on the top of the hot tub water at the hotel pool? You think those make a hot tub more appealing? Think again. Those bubbles are the results of body oils, skin, hair, and other stuff that comes off or out of bodies. So the next time you think of making yourself a beard out of the hot tub bubbles, keep this blog posting in mind.

We’re headed back to Iowa tomorrow. I plan to walk back to Iowa in an attempt to work off the excessive amount of food I’ve inhaled this weekend. After breakfast at IHOP, of course.

Ignorance at the Flower Shop

I was standing in line today at the flower shop. There was a guy in front of me. His bill rang up to $120.00. Holy Moly. So I peered around him to see what the hell he was buying. On the counter was a pile of white roses – 45 to be exact. He told the lady at the counter that he was buying them because he had made his wife mad. I thought to myself, “He’s going to be in even more trouble when his wife finds out how much he spent on those stupid roses.”

He paid for his bundle, grabbed the teddy bear that he also included in his purchase, and left. When I made my way to the counter, I said something to the effect of , “Wow. That’s a lot of roses.” Not that I cared, I was just trying to make conversation and whatever. The lady appeared to be nice. And then she replied with this comment:

“Well let me tell ya somethin’. Hispanic men – they spend money. You’d never see a white man coming in here and spending that kind of money.”

What kind of statistics back up an ignorant comment like that? And I don’t even know who should be pissed about what she said – hispanic men or white men? Is she saying that hispanic men throw their money around like there’s no tomorrow? Or is she saying that white men are cheap assess who don’t know how to treat a lady?

I think that’s the first time I’ve ever typed the word assess.

Another Tooth, Another Dollar

Our tooth fairy is a idiot. When 3 lost his first tooth, he received $1.00. When the second tooth was lost, $2.00. Hopefully by now you get the pattern. Apparently our tooth fairy had “first child” syndrome and had no regard for limitations, the value of a dollar, or how to properly raise a child. In short, our tooth fairy was completely ignorant.

Let’s advance to age 10 ½. Today 3 lost his 11th tooth. That’s ELEVEN, folks. If you followed the pattern mentioned above, that’s $11.00 for losing a damn tooth.

Those of you who know me, I’m hereby warning you that I will look a little strange next time you see me. Tonight I will be pulling out all of my teeth and gently placing them under my pillow. Property taxes are due this week.

Things I Won't Wear

So I'm kind of pissed that luvthebearcats came up with her own little meme and totally trashed my wardrobe. Now she's all, "Those are things that I won't wear, not necessarily things that other people shouldn't wear." Whatever. So here goes my list...

Skinny Jeans. No, I won't wear these...at least not on purpose. There are two reasons for this. Number 1, I'm not skinny. (Hence the comment "not on purpose".) And secondly, I think they make women's feet look a mile long. Like I need the added enhancement in THAT department!

Ankle-Length Pants. I think they are cute, but I can only wear full-length pants or capri/gauchos. If I wear ankle length, people just think my pants are too short.

Ginormous Sunglasses. The "Stupid Girls" (kudos to Pink) wear those big freaking glasses. What's up with that?

Mini-skirts. The last time I wore a mini skirt was a maternity dress I had. What the hell was I thinking? Obviously I didn't give a rat's ass about how I looked, since I appeared to be carrying a child in each thigh as well as my stomach.

Tattoos. (back at ya, ltb). First, I don't like needles. Second, I'm not inclined to do something to body that I may find gross a few years from now. And third, I mean I REALLY hate needles!


~~Side note~~ Apparently there is a person in town who is breaking into people's homes. It happened to someone I know last night. And that scares the hell out of me. So if my dog suddenly freaks out, then I am going to freak out. Unfortunately my dog won't attack anyone. He'll just jump all over them and welcome them to our home. I'm screwed.

Don't Question It! Just Do It!

This skit had three of us rolling on the floor Saturday Night watching SNL. The fourth one doesn't have the same sense of humor as the rest of us...whatever. He also doesn't get Napoleon Dynamite.

If you are a parent who has had to endure hours of Dora torture, you have to watch this.

Cake Walk Queen

It's my goal to have my cake be the first one selected each year at the cake walk at our annual PTO carnival. Why do I enjoy that honor so much? Probably because I'm a crappy baker and people know this and they are always amazed at what I come up with. Year one was the best - a cake that looked like a hamburger. It took me hours to build but it was worth it. Last year was a football stadium. It came up a bit short on appearance and taste, but was not short on effort.

Really, folks, this is so out of my league. But here is my entry for this year, complete with a pizza box.

And it's not just a box cake. And it's homemade frosting. Eat 'em and weep, friends.

Gooey Goodness

This stuff is AWESOME! I'm not a jalapeno fan, but it was perfect in here. And if you didn't want to include the ham, it would still be excellent.


8 oz cream cheese, softened
2 T chopped green onions
16 oz sour cream
1 T jalapeños, chopped (5-8 slices)
3 C sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1 C diced ham
1 loaf French bread

Preheat oven at 350°. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, mix until fully incorporated. Cut off the top 1/3 of the bread (making a ‘lid’), remove the inside bread from the loaf and set aside to serve later. Fill bread ‘shell’ with filling. Replace lid and bake for 1 hour. Remove lid and continue baking for another 15 minutes (I leave my lid in the oven – set to the side of the loaf). Remove loaf from oven and let stand 5 minutes. Serve with bread pieces removed before baking.

Movie Madness

Well, I don't have anything better for ya, folks. My creative juices are SO not flowing this week.

Name a movie you have seen more than 10 times.

Grease
Sixteen Candles
Breakfast Club
Rain Man
Dirty Dancing

I know those are ancient. I don’t have time to see a movie more than 10 times anymore.

Name a move you’ve seen multiple times in a theater.
Yeah, that would be NONE.

Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn.

Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Keanu Reeves. He’s absolutely horrible.

Name a movie you can quote from.
You mean like THIS?

Do the chickens have large talons?

"She getting mawwwwied." "Married?” “Mawwwied!”

Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood.

Pepper needs new shorts!

Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs
Grease, of course.

Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with
Grease, of course

Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
Hands down, the Life of David Gale. Not a comedy, but a must-see.
And if you have the same sense of humor as me, then go for Dodgeball or Napoleon Dynamite. Feel good movie – Radio. If you have kids who play soccer and haven’t seen Kicking and Screaming, then I have no idea what’s wrong with you. You’re on your own. Fight Club is a must-see.

Name a movie that you own.
Just “a” movie? My library contains a wide range – make that VERY wide range – of movies. Here is a short list:
Wedding Crashers
Radio
Titanic
Joe Dirt
I have a ton of movies but for some reason my brain is dead. I would go look, but I’m really just trying to get this meme done and posted so I can go to bed.

Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
This probably doesn’t qualify, but it’s my blog so I can do whatever I want. I think Justin Timberlake is HILARIOUS. He totally rocks SNL when he hosts. Here’s a snippet from Ellen from this past Christmas:

Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
Yeah. I dunno.

Ever made out in a movie?
I’ve only been in one movie and I don’t recall that I was making out in it.

Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.
Reality Bites – No, I haven’t seen this. Am I too old now?

Ever walked out of a movie?
Hunt for Red October. And I wanted to walk out of Yu-Gi-Oh! That’s the very worst movie ever made.

What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?
Dodgeball, Napoleon Dynamite, Kicking and Screaming, Wedding Crashers,

Ok, there were more questions on this meme, but I’m done.

Better Mood

Sorry, readers, about the grumpiness of last night's post. Headaches will do that to ya. I'm in a much better mood today and it has nothing to do with the value of my stocks. (see side bar. or better yet, don't.)

Headache Post

I'm tired and I have a headache, but I still have a few minutes to shoot out a quick post. Here are a few random thoughts that are seeping out of my fingers tonight as I type.

I listened to a personal development CD on my way to work this morning and on my way home tonight. It was all about thinking positive, blah blah blah. But I'm still in a negative mood. I'm trying, people, I'm really trying.

This damn cat thinks it's ok to sit on the keyboard. When I push him off, he sits on the remote and changes the channel. I can't win.

I've been looking at pictures of that jumbo jet, but how the hell can I tell how big it is by looking at pictures?

I only got to see my kids for 30 minutes today because I was at a meeting until 10:00 tonight. That sucks.

So now I'm home and everyone is in bed.

My head REALLY hurts.

I'm thinking about changing my Netflix account so that I can get a movie, too. Unfortunately the boys know how to log on to our account and change the queue...therefore my movies never seem to arrive.

And finally, alcohol and cameras don't mix, do they luvthebearcats?

Stocks

I suppose it's not really a challenge anymore since we have most of our money wrapped up in the same stock. I'll still post our balances so you can keep track of how we're doing with our $1,000 starting balance! So far we're stinking pretty bad.

Have a great week everyone!

Stock Challenge Update

I give in. I've already sold some of my stock. I just can't pass up the cheap AENS, so I'm going in tomorrow morning. Not all in, because I still believe in TYL, but my remaining balance is all in -- at least for now. The info is posted on my sidebar.

My Brothers, The Hearthrobs

**UPDATED** I failed to mention to that both brothers are spoken for....Sorry gals.

I've never introduced you to my two little brothers, so here goes. First of all, I feel fortunate to have them for brothers. Love them both! Secondly, they seem to put up with their big sister ok. And third, they are awesome uncles. And guys who are good to my kids have an extra special place in my heart.


Ok, so there's all that. But did you know they are also hearthrobs? It's true. At least that's what women all over the world seem to think. Here are their pictures:

Uncle A

Uncle L

Ok, so maybe these aren't real pictures of them. But yes, my brother A looks exactly like Joaquin Phoenix. And brother L looks exactly like Andy Roddick, even down to the shape of his mouth. So those of you who know A and L, do you agree?

Ten Things

Ok, so I don't have some amazing post for you today but here are a few things that I can throw at you:

1. I bought the book The Secret and have started to read it. Seems, though, like I already had this book on my bookshelf under a different title - The Attractor Factor. While I believe that good things will happen if you think positive thoughts, I don't think it's because of some magnetic vibe. In my opinion, having positive thoughts puts you in more positive situations, helps people react positively to you, gives you better self-esteem, etc. But it's a "pretty" book so I'll finish reading it and it will stay on my shelf. Any comments from the audience?

2. Game On - finally. I was able to buy Hubs AENS stock for 82 cents per share. Quite a bargain if things go his way. But I've sold some of my stock already so now I need to find something else to buy. I might call "uncle" and go for AENS too. We'll see.

3. Another blogging baby has arrived. A BIG blogging baby. He's over here.

4. I have filled out an NCAA bracket. I have no idea why.

5. We are headed out for a very mini spring break trip tonight. We're not even leaving the state. But that's ok. We all need a break so we're getting the heck out of dodge!

6. I have showered, but I put my PJs back on. Yes, it's 12:30 and I'm still in my PJs.

7. Our dog is going with us tonight. I don't know 'bout that.

8. I don't have a number 8.

9. Am I to the bottom of the list yet?

10. Ahhhh....done.

GAME ON...kind of

**UPDATED**
So today was the start date for our stock competition. So I bought mine this morning and then went to buy Hubs. But apparently he has chosen such a crappy stock that it's only sold OTC. So I have to wait to purchase his tomorrow. I guess I get a day's head start, which hopefully will help me out. Or it could burn me severely.

My Picks

ADM - Archer-Daniels-Midland. They are the world's largest processors of soybeans, corn, wheat and cocoa.

TYL - Tyler Technologies. Yes, Chilihead, this is the company I work for. And we rock.

Total Purchase Price = 424.64

Hubs Pick

AENS - Alternative Energy Sources. They are building an ethanol plant just down the road from us. Their stock is dropping like a...well, I can't think of what it's like, but basically it means that it really can't go down a whole lot further.

Not purchased yet

So GAME ON...tomorrow.

Bring It On

A little competition never hurts a relationship. Especially if that competition makes you some money.

Starting tomorrow, Hubs and I will be embroiled in a stock market challenge. We will each spend $450 on stocks and see who can make the most money. We haven’t picked out a deadline for the competition so I suppose that whenever I get ahead, I’ll decide that the competition is over. Whoever makes up the competition also makes up the rules, right?

I’ll keep a running tab on my sidebar so you can all keep track of where we’re at. Check back tomorrow to see what stocks we’re bough.

Yours in financial nerdiness,
green3

The hills are alive with the look of mud.

So I open my email this morning and there is a picture of my brother, standing on top of a mountain, surrounded by all the Colorado beauty:

Whatever, ya bastard. So I emailed the below photo back to him, the boys surrounded in all our beauty:


Yes, that is a snowpile covered with mud.

I Wish

I wish Twinkies didn’t have carbs.

I wish heavy Mt. Dew didn’t have carbs.

I wish I wasn’t worrying about carbs.

I wish my cat would not wake up so early in the morning so that he could sleep with me.

I wish my cramps were not so bad right now.

I wish everyone could be happy.

I wish my house was already clean so I wouldn’t have to deal with it in the morning.

I wish I owned a bunch of real estate and I could live off the income from it.

I wish I didn’t have to wear glasses or contacts.

I wish I was a candidate for lasik surgery, but I’m not.

I wish I had tickets to this.

I wish I had the full DVD set of this.

I wish I would have had more time to look around Barnes and Noble tonight.

I wish Green had not dropped his red slushy drink in the middle of Barnes and Noble tonight.

I wish my picture I put on my blog wasn’t so hideous.

I wish it wasn’t 11:30 already.

I wish the auto numbering feature in Word would just somehow know when I wanted it to auto number something and when I didn’t.

I wish you would post your “I wish” list.

I wish all the people who visit my blog would leave a comment just once.

I wish I could get interested in the book I’m reading.

I wish you a fun and safe weekend!

BookCrossing

Are any of you a participant of BookCrossing? I think this looks cool. I have a stash of books that I'll never read and they are so hot on paperbackswap.com either. Maybe I'll send them out "into the wild." Sound fun!

New Babies on the Blogging Block

Stop over at Trattoria Breve and congratulate her on her twin babies!

I Can't Think of a Good Post Heading

Heh heh…I was informed that I was removed from someone’s blogroll after my last post. Whatever. Onward with my posting:

So I’m officially sick of winter. I’m sick of the cold, I’m sick of dealing with snow pants, boots, gloves, winter coats. But mostly I’m sick of my winter clothes.

Toward the end of each season, I fall into this mode. I always get sick of my clothes. Now I’m down to my standard weekly wardrobe, which I’m sure my co-workers are amused by. I can hear them now, “Is today her tan jacket thingy with the brown shirt, or is it the Iowa State University sweatshirt day?” Seriously. They probably won’t even recognize me when I come in later this week in a brand new shirt that I bought on clearance from Gap.

I do have a lot of other shirts I could wear, but they are like WAY in the back of my closet. Plus, those shirts tend to show the extra rolls that have formed over the winter and I really don’t want to subject anyone to that display.

Warning! Political Post!

I’m a proud Democrat, but I play well with Republicans. I’m married to one, but one that’s really not into politics so I don’t think that counts. My in-laws are about as Republican as they come and I have a feeling most of my friends are Republican. I’m well aware of where my opinions are accepted and where they are not. And my opinions totally rule on the Green3 blog.

Green3’s Top 10 Reasons Why Things Aren’t Looking Good for Republicans

10. Two big songs at the Grammys this year were Dixie Chicks’ “I’m Not Ready to Make Nice” and John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World to Change”. Coincidence? I think not. Maybe Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” also was giving some hints.

9. The Dems are weeding out the “extra” candidates. I think Vilsack is great, but he didn’t have the star power to succeed. The Obama wave will hopefully crash soon and dump all those surfers onto the beach. They’ll stand up, brush the sand off and think, “What the hell was that?”

8. I’m sick of playing “Where’s Osama?” What? You don’t remember him? He’s the guy who we’re SUPPOSED to be going after. And if you think he’s just been focused on keeping himself hidden for the past 6 years, you are mistaken. He’s smart, he’s crazy and he has money. He’ll be back.

7. Terrorists are insane. Bombing the crap out of them and sending our troops into their territory is not the answer. Terrorists love shit like bombs and dead Americans. We’re playing their game and they are loving it. And they are winning it.

6. Remember the November elections?

5. Bush’s advice to the recent tornado victims: “Hang in There.”

4. Ann Coulter is a Republican.

3. New Orleans is the same hell it was shortly after Katrina. Someone is going to have to step up to the plate and deal with that situation.

2. The United States is making enemies faster than Ann Coulter. Well, maybe not THAT fast, but you get my point. We’re throwing our power all over the planet. Others aren’t taking kindly to that.

And the number 1 reason why things aren’t looking good for Republicans…

1. George Bush is a hard act to follow. I doubt they can pull it off.

Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Or an alternate title could be Chilihead Is Finally Taking Over The World One Blog At A Time!

Silly Green 3. She is my cousin so she completely thought it was safe to give me her id/pw to help her out with her blog. Of course, I made some mistakes and now I have to fix them. One of the things I need to see is how her blog comes across in Bloglines. That's why I'm posting this incredibly mundane post. Stick around, though, Green 3 will be back shortly telling you what a dork I am and enthralling you with life in Iowa. Or as I like to call it: Blizzard Central.

Leave her lots of comments! She likes that!

Apparently I'm Not the Party Animal I Thought I Was...

...at least when it comes to the Ultimate Blog Party. I had all kinds of cool things to blog about this week, but never got excited enough to actually do it. I've been browsing other participating blogs. I found a few that interested me, but I found that most of them I don't have anything in common with - other than the fact that we have kids.

I've been thinking a lot about the "mommy blogger" title. I'm 100% a mom, and I blog, but does that make me a mommy blogger? Few of my blog entries talk about what we had for dinner or what funny thing my kid said today. Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing that, but that's not why I blog.

I blog because it's the one place I have all to myself where I can say whatever I want. If I feel a swear word will get my point across a little better, I'll use one. I may talk a little about politics, books I'm reading, favorite drinks, or something I find funny. I just find this as my one place to "get away from it all" since I can't physically get away from it all.

So instead of a mommy blogger, I've decided to call myself a "me blogger". And I don't feel selfish about it. This 20 minutes a day helps me keep my sanity.

I'm BAAAAACK!

Oh.My.God.

My Internet is working again.

So I will be back later with my first installment of "Weird Stuff That I Own" - complete with pictures!

And for you blog partiers, I'll be making the rounds today!

It's My Party and I'll Post If I Want To

So you’ve finally come across the life of the party…welcome!

I had all sorts of fancy ideas for my first blog post, but LADIES – I had to go to a friend’s house to get online. I’ve been without Internet for 2 days now and it is giving me random twitching. Seriously. Hello, I’m green3 and I’m an Internet and Email addict

I’m looking forward to meeting a lot of new blog friends! Here is a link to 100 Things About Me and I would LOVE it if you would leave a comment! Stop back and visit because I am going to be sharing all kinds of awesome stories.

My 100 Things

Check out other partiers at 5 Minutes for Mom.