Mug Shots

Have an hour to waste? Apparently I did.

I guess I have no more excuses for not blogging, huh?

First Day vs. Last Day

My how they change...

First Day of School

Today, Last Day of School

Pool Girl

It turns out being Pool Girl is not as cool as it sounds. I was asked to be Pool Boy’s assistant for an evening and much to his excitement, I shipped off the kids and went along.

First, we had to break into the pool area by taking the hinges out of the gate and taking out the door. Now tell me this doesn’t look suspicious? I think the fact that I was pulling a power washer behind me and carrying a huge scrub brush kept us from getting arrested.

Dispatcher: “911. What is your emergency?”

Neighbor: “Yeah, I think these two people are breaking into our neighbor’s house. It appears they are going to wash the hell out of it.”

I helped take the tarp off and got a whiff of liquified worms. There’s nothing better than reaching your hand into the basket to clean out the leaves, or what you think are leaves, and pulling out all kinds of squirmy animal bodies that were no longer alive…and hadn’t been for some time I’m guessing.

I did the easy role of vacuuming while Pool Boy did the hard work of visiting with the neighbors. I power washed the tarp while Pool Boy talked on his cell phone. I hauled all the stuff to and from the garage while Pool Boy ate the treats the neighbor kids brought over to him. I scrubbed the steps while Pool Boy hosed down the deck. I hauled everything back to the truck while he looked everything over just to make sure it was oky doky.

Pool Boy thought we worked pretty well as a team. He wants me to come along on the next pool opening. I’m pretty sure I’ll have something else going on that night, whenever it is.

Cute vs. Ugly

Today, students, we will learn the difference between cute and ugly. See exhibits below:

Cute:

UGLY:

CUTE:

UGLY:

REALLLLLLY CUTE:

REALLLLLLY UGLY:

Paybacks are so much fun. Truce?

FARKing Awesome!

I love me some CNN, MSNBC, People, whatever news you’ve got. Don’t bother telling me about something you read in the news because chances are I already know it. So I am truly fascinated with the best news site of all, FARK.

FARK offers all the news any normal person needs to know. Here are some tidbits from today’s headlines, with links back to the original news stories.

Reagan's newly-released diary says "getting shot hurts". Coming soon, from Bill Clinton's memoirs: "getting blown kicks ass"

DNA testing is usually a pretty good way to identify your babydaddy, except when the babymamma fornicated with identical twins hours apart.

Mother sues coach after child injures himself sliding into second base. Child says he felt beckoned.

Get more FARK here!

More of Me Meme

Since I don't have time to think up a creative post of my own, I ripped this off from someone else.

Favorite kind of cereal: I like Sugar Smacks, but I usually eat Wheaties.

What animal or insect disgusts you the most? spider

What do you need more of right now? Money, duh. I could use more socks, too.

What is the hardest thing for you to do? Follow a diet and exercise program

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30 minutes

What are you thankful you're not doing now? Sitting in jail, I suppose

What is your favorite drink? I love heavy Mt. Dew from a fountain pop machine. But I usually drink Diet Dew. Other than that, I’ll take a Smirnoff. Or Bud Light, whatever you have on hand.

Favorite way to eat potatoes? Any ole way!

If you could be a character in any novel, who would you be? I don’t read many novels, so I’m drawing a blank.

Favorite ice cream toppings: hot fudge, marshmallow, chocolate

Where do you want to spend the rest of your life? Travelling among my vacation homes, while keeping my base home in my current hometown.

What do you bring most to a friendship? You’ll always have a friend taller than you. But actually, I’m not all that tall. I just have short friends, apparently.

On a scale of 1-10, how hip are you? Hopefully I’m closer to 10 than 1.

What kind of music makes you want to get up and sing? 80s! That’s stuff you can sing to.

What are you an expert in? I’m an expert in over-researching topics I’m interested in until I’ve got a whole bookshelf full of books and an iPod full of podcasts. Yeah, Chili, I’ve got an iPod but I’m listening to a podcast about mortgages rather than “Girlfriend”!

What have you tried and simply were not good at? A variety of sports. I’m not athletic, but I do know enough to guide my kids. I know the lingo, just don’t have skills.

Favorite movie lines?
PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?
The ratio of people to cake is too big.
Friends – what movie are these from??

What is your most annoying habit? I can’t stop checking email. I’m an addict. Now if someone will just send me something good one of these days, it will totally pay off.

If fat, calories, etc. weren't an issue, what food would you feast on? homemade bread, mashed potatoes either dripping in butter or with homemade fried chicken gravy.

How much can you bench press? Not much.

What fictional character would you like to meet? Cheese from Foster’s Home of Imaginary Friends

What is the ultimate vacation? A secluded home that opens up to the beach, where I can sit on the beach and watch the ocean. Pool Boy and the boys would be with me, but nobody would complain about being bored, hungry, hot, etc.

What cosmetic surgery would you like? Tummy tuck!

What is the last movie that made your eyes tear up? I don’t cry that often.

What super-power would you like? The ability to snap my fingers and have my house be clean and laundry folded and put away.

What would you change about your appearance? I’d be shorter. HA HA HA. JUST KIDDING! I’d hate to be short!

Would you rather be smart, rich, or beautiful? I’d pick smart. Because if I was smart, I could figure out how to be rich and beautiful.

If you named your home, what would you name it? Master of Disaster

What room do you want to add to your home? A master bedroom that has a reading room and opens up to the pool.

What advice would you give to the President? I wouldn’t give him any advice. He’s doing a fine job of making sure our next President will be a Democrat.

What character attribute do you admire most? Good work ethic. I hate people who are lazy, sneaky and try to get away with the bare minimum of work. Which brings me to my favorite cartoon that I have taped on my monitor:
Dilbert: I don’t mean to frighten you, but you’ll have to do some actual work.
Co-worker: That’s crazy talk.

Where do you usually buy your clothes? Gap and Maurices

What is the nicest thing you have ever bought somebody? I bought Pool Boy a remote start for his truck and had it installed as a surprise. I hate to see him cold in mornings. Awwwww.

How would you spend $1000? I’d invest it.

What do you want to change about your life? I wish I was more organized and I lived in a spotless house.

What would you like to accomplish this year? I have a list, but like I’m going to share that with you.

What book has had the greatest impact on your life? All of my personal development books.

What quote has had the greatest impact on your life? Don’t take anyone else’s definition of success as your own.

What do you do everyday? Get online

What food do you refuse to eat? Seafood. It belongs in the sea.

What is the best purchase you have made? My house. I bought it for a ridiculously low amount of money, but at the time it seemed like a ridiculously high amount of money. We once had someone offer us $120,000 more than we paid for it and we declined. Crazy? Maybe.

What one word describes your life? BUSY

I'm Not Dead

Just in case you were wondering where I've been.

Here is what I've been doing instead of blogging:

• laundry
• soccer
• baseball
• working on websites
• cleaning up the shit in my yard landscaping
• dishes
• cleaning
• working
• doling out money to my kids
• Pool Boy's gopher for various pool-related items
• reading blogs, but not commenting very often. Sorry 'bout that.
• meetings

Sweet Mother of Money

So you didn’t jump on the AENS train, eh? Yes, it looked bleak for the ethanol company for awhile. But I’ve made $300.00 in the past two days on my stocks. Better jump on the caboose before you are too late!

Serious Sheena

Did you wake up this morning and think to yourself, “I wonder what happened to Sheena Easton?” Weird, so did I.

And what the hell was up with that serious rocker look?

So that got me thinking about one hit wonders. I don’t know why, since she was not a one hit wonder, but whatever. It’s my blog and I can do what I want.

Here are a few one hit wonders that we ALL know the words to.

Love Hurts
Nazareth

Always Something There to Remind Me
Naked Eyes

Radar Love
Golden Earring

Electric Avenue
Eddy Grant

(I Just) Died in your Arms
Cutting Crew

So tell me, blog friends. What one-hit wonder do you know all the words to? And yes, Jack Wagner totally counts as a one-hit wonder.

Mental Health Month

May is Mental Health Month. I encourage you to visit Chili’s blog for her excellent post on this subject.

I'm an Aunt - Again!

Abigail Erin

May 6, 2007

Congrats, J and E!

Spotlight Sunday

Blogging Basics 101

It doesn’t matter if you are brand new to blogging or have been blogging for years. You will learn something by visiting this site! Chilihead and Shannon post everything there is to know about blogging and they are continually adding to their database every day. And the best part is, they remember back to when they were beginning bloggers so they post about every little thing. No question is too stupid!!

Check out other Sunday Spotlights here!

Ten Interesting Things

Toni tagged me for this. I'm supposed to tag 10 others, but I'll just let you play along if you want.

10 Interesting Things About Me

1. I hate being dressed up. I own one dress, one skirt/jacket combo and lots of sweats.

2. I have super-strong and fast growing fingernails so I never need to have fake nails like And I didn’t have these nails, I doubt I would do it anyway. I like to dig around in the dirt too much.

3. I am addicted to Diet Mt. Dew. My doctor has advised me to quit drinking it so I would feel better, but then I decided that if I didn’t drink caffeine then I would no longer be married or have any friends. Wasn’t worth it.

4. My lips get chapped very easily, so I always have to have lipstick or lip balm with me.

5. I’m never happy with my hairstyle.

6. I hate my glasses, but I hate my contacts more.

7. My house is very rarely spotless. I’m always cleaning, but it is never clean.

8. I don’t balance my checkbook.

9. I can’t follow a budget. But I have learned to control my spending more.

10. My nose runs constantly…CONSTANTLY. I always have a box of kleenex with me. I keep a box in every room in my house.

Sorry. Those were supposed to be interesting. And these 10 items are not interesting in the least.

Phone Call

So here's the strangest phone call I've received this week.

Pool Boy: "Hey, my jacket just flew out of the school bus window out on the highway. Can you go get it?"

Me: "I guess..."

Junk Stand

**Here's some information about this letter. For our baseball league, if a parent is unwilling to volunteer their time to help in the concession stand, they are charged $20.00 so the city can pay to hire someone to work for the night.

Dear Crazy Lady -

First you showed up late for practice. Then you mouthed off to Pool Boy and his assistant coach in front of the whole team of kids. Pool Boy was very impressed the way you chucked that check at him at practice last night.

You yelled, "Here are my boys. And here is the check that is totally ridiculous and unnecessary! The main reason we came to play ball here is because (the town they live in) has this same policy. And now you are doing it to me here!" The memo line on the check said, "unnecessary money for the junk stand."

So I have some questions for you.

1. Did you really force your kids to play on teams in a different town over a stupid concession stand policy? Don't you think they probably want to play with their friends?

2. Who the hell SHOULD work in the concession stand then?

3. Without the concession stand, how would we have enough money to have a baseball and softball league?

4. What will your kids think of you when they get older and realize what an idiot they have for a mother?

5. Do you know how awesome I think it is that you had to pay $40.00 because you have two players on the team? That rocks.

We'll take your money for the concession stand. But you better sure as hell never get thirsty when you are sitting out at a ballgame. Especially if I'm working in the concession stand that night.

Play Ball,
green3

We Cannot Be Bought

With the roles we play in our community as a city councilperson (Pool Boy) and school board member (me), we hear our share of strange comments.

Last week we had a lot of rain. One citizen is extremely upset that he got water in his basement. He complained to the city employee who works with the sewer system, and the employee politely explained that he knew people had water in their basements and they city is always working hard to prevent things like that from happening. His response was this: I HAVE DONATED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO THIS SCHOOL DISTRICT SO I DESERVE TO HAVE MY ISSUES ADDRESSED BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE’S.

Hear you loud and clear, dude, but not understanding your rationale. And if you think you are buying some “Mr. Important” certificate or something with your thousands of dollars, sorry. Neither the school nor the city has that item for sale.

My 201st Post!

That's right folks! And to celebrate passing the 200 mark, I volunteered to have Sandy ask me some questions. I know you are all just dying to hear more about green3.

1. What is something (not immoral or illegal) that if you did it, it would shock everyone?
This is scary to answer. What if I wrote something and then everyone said, “I can SO see you doing that!” I could go with the obvious murder, affair, drugs answer and be safe. But I’ll venture out bit and say these things:

If I became a “nature” person, meaning I quit using my car, quit using all forms of electronics, only ate organic food, quit shaving my legs and arms, only bought food from a farmer’s market, took my own cloth bags to the market and so on. You all know the kind of person I’m talking about. And that ain’t me.

Bought an Apple computer.

Voted Republican for a presidential election. I’ve crossed party lines before, but never for the big office.

Took my kids out of school and home schooled them. Of course that would require me to quit my job, which would be yet another shock.

Had another baby.

2. Of all the things someone could say about you, what would make you feel the best?
The most important job I have right, and the one I work hardest at, is being a good mom. So I would hope that people see my as a good mom.

3. What reality tv show would you most like to be on?
I would totally suck on Survivor. I have no survival skills. I can’t start a fire, find my own food, sleep in a tent that I had to make myself from twigs and leaves, or go without food for more than 4 hours. If I signed up for Survivor, that would have to be an answer for question 1.

The Amazing Race – It would be amazing if I thought I could actually do that. I’m smarter than that. I know that’s not my thing.

So I’ll go with The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search. KIDDING

I think I’d kick ass on The Apprentice. Plus, I think Donald Trump is a financial genius.

4. What does a woman or man need most from a husband or wife?
Pool Boy and I could not have been better matched. And here are the reasons why:

We have the same work ethic. If there is something to be done or something you want, get off your ass and get to it.

We both strive to be excellent parents. We involve our kids in what we have going on, and we involve ourselves in what they have going on. And we do more than just the normal parent stuff – we have FUN with our kids. Our family rocks.

We both take responsibility for the house. It’s not one person’s job to do laundry, one person’s job to pick up the house, one person’s job to make dinner, and so on. We share tasks on everyone. Well, except the toilet. Apparently it IS one person’s job to clean the toilet.

5. Which toppings make up the perfect pizza?
I am the most boring pizza person on the planet. My answer is SAUSAGE and CHEESE. Sorry about that.

C'mon, friends! Now let me ask YOU 5 questions. Post a comment here or email me at thegreen3 at gmaildotcom.

Thanks, Sandy. That was fun!

We All Have Secrets

And I'll let you in on one of mine. I love reading PostSecrets.

Sometimes reading them makes you say, "What the...that's the worst secret you have?" :

And then there are those that make you say, "Ok, then, weirdo" :

There are some that make you think, "Umm...that's not good" :

And then there are some that make you think, "Now that's a secret!" :

New PostSecrets are posted every Sunday. Check them out. And here's another secret of mine. I've never submitted a secret to PostSecret.

Thursday Thirteen, er...Ten

This is my first Thursday Thirteen! Let’s dig right into it.

Thirteen Things I’m Working On/Thinking About (how’s that for a vague heading?)

1. I need a new water feature for my yard. Pool Boy and I went nuts and ripped out our old one two weekends ago. We need to figure out what we are going to replace it with before our plants are all up.

2. I’m in the midst of a putting up a website for a real estate project I’m involved in. I’ve got scanning to do, HTML code to write, proofing to do. It all needed to be done last week. Anyone interested in living in Pagosa Springs, Colorado?

3. I want laser surgery for my eyes. My long-time readers will remember that I did not qualify last time I went in because I’m too thin. Ok, ok. It’s actually my corneas are too thin. My body has never been too thin for anything. They told me to check back in a year, which is coming up. I’m ready to go in again, but I’m going to a different place. I really want to be glasses/contacts-free!

4. We need to get the pool ready. Our pool is open, but it’s not cleaned or heated. It might be warm enough this weekend that the boys will want to get in, so we better get it going.

5. My bedroom closet needs cleaned. We have a walk-in closet. Wait, let me rephrase that. We USED to have a walk-in closet.

6. And speaking of messes, everything else I own needs cleaned too.

7. I’m wondering why the more I run, the more my body hurts and the less weight I lose. The reason I started running in the first place was to feel better and lose weight. I think I’m doing it wrong.

8. I can’t believe how bad my stocks are sucking. AENS better damn well start breaking ground here soon. And as for TYL, those people are still awesome! Especially the one with the messy desk!

9. I’m curious how we’re going to survive our spring schedule. And with this week’s monsoon, everything was postponed. That means even more events scrunched into a smaller timeframe. I’m not complaining. I’m just sayin’.

10. I’m stopping at 10. I’m hungry and I’m out of time.

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

I Got a $455.00/Month Raise Today

Today is a great day. Pool Boy (formerly known as DH or Hubs) wrote a check for $2,200. Normally if he wrote a check for that amount, I would be totally pissed. But today I’m was past excited. We paid off the Pool Boy truck!

So now our debt consist of only three things: our home (necessary), my car (necessary) and the pool (couldn’t be more unnecessary).

And now for a bit of blogkeeping…

Here are some new blogs you need to check out:

Life in the Castle – Head over there and welcome J to the blog world! She has two adorable girls and I promise you’ll get a kick out of them.

I’m a Beerkat – She is a beerkat, and is apparently proud of that.

Jarhead Corner – I except big things from this guy.

Life in the Cubicle – This is Dad Gone Mad, cubicled. Awesome

I have updated my blog roll, as I AM SURE you have noticed. I’m not sure I’m so excited about the blogroll getting that large. How am I supposed to keep up with everyone? Anyway, I’ve sorted them by IRL (in real life) blogs and non-IRL blogs. Go visit them and make sure you tell them I sent you their way.

Shhhhh...Don't Spoil It For the Rest of Them

Boy do I have some American Idol news for you.

I have some first-hand knowledge of what is in the American Idol contracts that are given to the contestants. A person I know was part of the group that “went to Hollywood” last season. There is a line in their contracts that states that the person who is removed from the show each week is not necessarily the person who receives the least amount of votes.

Now I'm not a complete idiot, regardless of what others say. I know there is some background mumbo jumbo going on for all of these reality shows. No network is going to throw millions behind a show and just leave the results to chance. But now I have confirmation, baby!

You think it was a coincidence that Sanjaya stayed on until right before the final 6? And how he was never in the bottom three until the night he got kicked out? You know the producers stepped in and said, “If this idiot wins this competition, our show is so doomed!” So out he went. And thank god.

Nada

So I've spent the better part of the past hour writing different blog postings, then deleting them because they sucked. Then I thought, what the hell? This is the best thing I have to do with my time? So sorry. No blog posting here tonight.

Mom Jeans

If anyone ever catches me wearing mom jeans out in public, please lock me in my house and throw away the key.

Sorry Mischa. These jeans are doing NOTHING for you.

Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.

That's right, folks. I won a MAJOR award. Can you believe it? It's right over there on my sidebar. I couldn't be more excited!

It's a MAJOR award!

“Only one thing in the world could prevent me from having the soft glow of electric sex gleaming on my sidebar…"

Oh my gosh. I’m so nervous. This is the big time, people. I could win, like, a MAJOR award!

Let me tell you the number one reason why I should win a MAJOR award. Take a look at my sidebar, people. I’ve been blogging my rear end off for months and so far, no award to put on my sidebar. Do you know how horribly pathetic that looks? All of my blogging friends have cute little awards they’ve won for their various posts. I’ve even nominated someone for an award. But what about little ole me? While I would hate to say that the main reason I blog is for comments (take notice, you lurkers!) and awards, what other reason is there? I mean, c’mon.

If I won the MAJOR award, I would take such good care of it. I would treat it with respect because I know how fra-gee-lay it is. I would stay on my sidebar forevah!

I seriously doubt that any of you could beat me out for the MAJOR award, but if you’re willing to take on the battle, head on over to Life is Like a Lunchbox and find out all the details.

I'm Still Here

It seems that many bloggers I read are giving it up to do something more important, like finishing their novel or something whack like that. I’m not giving it up, but GOOD LORD I have nothing to write about. Oh, unless you want to hear about soccer games, soccer practices, spelling lists, baseball practices and laundry. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

As I’m going through my day, all sorts of cool blog posts spring into my head. Like, I see some idiot at the store and my brain screams, “I AM SO BLOGGING ABOUT YOU TONIGHT!” I need to start carrying a notebook or something. WTF, is this what my life has come to? Carrying around a damn notebook so I have something to write about that night?

On another note, I'm close to my 200th post. What am I supposed to do about that? Hell no, I'm not writing 200 things about me. I could barely come up with 100.

Spring Concert

Look at these handsome boys who put down the basketballs and baseballs long enough to participate in their spring music concert.

Funny Friday

I went running tonight.

Those of you who know me - you can now pick yourself up off the floor. I have never once in my life thought that I would ever speak the sentence, "I went running tonight." It's actually my third time. Hopefully this isn't a fluke thing.

In case you haven't seen this yet, here's a funny for you this Friday.

A Special Invitation

I received a “special invitation” tonight. A very elegant house in our town is on the market for $359,000. I’ve been invited to a special showing next Tuesday night. Wine and cheese will be served. The owner is an artist and they will be giving away a print every 30 minutes.

Here are the reasons I will not be attending the special showing of the $359,000 home.

1. I don’t drink wine.

2. I like Velveeta, and I’m pretty sure that’s not what they mean by “cheese”. I also like the marbled orange and white cheese, but I’m sure that’s not what they mean either. Their cheese will probably be filled with crap I don’t like.

3. There is a law that states that people who like Velveeta should never step foot in a home valued at $359,000.

4. I’m pretty sure I don’t have the appropriate clothing to wear to such an event.

5. The backyard neighbor to this home is white trash.

To Tell or Not To Tell

**UPDATED**
I started to tell him tonight. He totally buys the whole Easter Bunny/Santa/Tooth Fairy thing. I just could not break his heart, or mine, tonight. So this conversation will have to wait until a later date. Maybe before he leaves for college I'll tell him...

_________________________________________________________________

The Easter Bunny came to our house this weekend. He brought basketball cards, baseball stuff, clothes and sugar. Easter, like Christmas, has that magical feel that some mysterious creature had come into our house and left us the exact items we wanted.

I love everything about the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I grew up with these three friends. Hubs did not, and that makes me sad. (No way, don't start up that argument in my comments section.)

I'm excited that the boys, esp 3, are still into these things. But now I'm also scared as hell. Because now I think it's time that I explain to him what the deal is. I can't let him go to middle school still believing, can I? I don't want him to be laughed at when he's sitting in middle school and he blurts out that he can't wait for Santa to come to his house.

I have tried very hard to make sure my kids are not naive. Hubs grew up in a very sheltered environment and when we were dating I was amazed at the things he didn't know. He'd never seen ET for God sakes! So I'm all about making sure my kids are "in-the-know". They've been to Vegas, they know Britney Spears shaved her head, they have their favorite Saturday Night Live skits, we often quote Dodgeball and Napoleon Dynamite, they collect Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, and whatever. Some think we are heathens, but I think we're fun.

So I will not send 3 to middle school being naive about this. And I'm more worried that if I don't tell him, he'll ask Green what he thinks and then we won't have any believers anymore. And heck, maybe he already knows.

Chime in, readers. Do I tell him or do I wait until he approaches me?

If You Hate Memes, Skip This Post

I know Toni wanted to tag me, but she only had three lines to fill out. So in an effort to help ease her emotional pain of leaving me out, I present to you…a meme.


Three Things That Scare Me:
1. Something bad happening to someone in my family
2. Not reaching my goals
3. Not having a cold Diet Dew in the fridge in the morning. Actually, that scares the people around me more than it scares me.

Three People Who Make Me Laugh: (blogatopia friends)
1. No Pasa Nada – only one problem, though. I can’t get a feed to her site for some reason so I rarely get over to her site. Help me out there!
2. Dad Gone Mad
3. Taste The World – but now that she has a luvah she has forgotten about us

Three Things I Love:
1. High speed Internet
2. Chocolate cake
3. sweatpants

Three Things I Hate:
1. cellulite
2. people on the highway who don’t move over when I’m trying to merge
3. This weird feeling that has been on my right side right under my chest region for the past two days. It’s bugging the SHEET out of me.

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. Why Buster the dog likes to snack on cat poop
2. Why hubs opened up our swimming pool in March and now we have to run the heater because it’s like 20 degrees outside
3. How airplanes fly

Three Things On My Desk:
1. My collection of odd pens
2. Lots of dust
3. A whole bunch of other crap

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. Sitting on the couch. Green and I are having a “slumber party” in the living room tonight. He’s asleep at my feet. Awwwwww.
2. Wondering if I need to take some ibuprofen to ease the cramps before I go to bed
3. Feeling guilty because I stopped at Cold Stone on the way home tonight

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Spend a whole week in Washington DC touring (I’ll stop and see you Nancy!). I love that city, and I really want to go back now that I’m all grown up. Note: This is the respectable side of yours truly.
2. Spend a whole week in Beverly Hills/LA celebrity watching and going on tours of celebrity homes. Note: This is the trashy side of yours truly.
3. Write a book and have it published. I used to want to write a book about the JFK assassination, but like a bazillion other people took my idea. And I know because I’ve bought every JFK assassination book out there. I’ve even read the Warren Commission Report cover to cover, my friend. I’m unbelievably hip.

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Turn my eyelids inside out
2. Pick up things with my toes
3. Spend hours on the Internet. There is no end to the amount of information out there.

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. Run, like in running for exercise.
2. Math in my head.
3. Figure out what to put for number 3. C’mon folks. There just aren’t that many things that I can’t do.

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. Motivational speakers. Some people think they are cheesy, but I love ‘em.
2. Sirius all 80’s channel
3. Lewis Black

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. Ann Coulter
2. Campaign advertisements. I hate every single one of them.
3. People telling you that you can’t do something.

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. Real landscaping rather than my current method of just digging random holes and throwing a plant in.
2. To love to exercise.
3. Investing – you should never stop learning about this.

Three Favorite Foods:
1. Potatoes
2. Mountain Dew
3. Fettuccini Alfredo with Chicken

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. Looney Toones
2. Electric Company
3. Captain Kangaroo

Three Things I Regret:
1. Not traveling more before the kids were born
2. Eating that ice cream at Cold Stone tonight
3. Not being able to be a stay at home mom for my kids

Three people I tag:
1. Sandy
2. luvthebearcats
3. Chase

Put This On Your To Do List

Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me.

The Pursuit of Happyness. Rent it this weekend. Movies don't get any better than this.

Cool Hair

Here's something you can do when your hair is way too long:

Here's Something You Don't Read About Everyday

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=257092&GT1=7702

An Open Letter to My Partner in Crime

Dear Body –

As you may or may not be aware of, swimsuit season is fast approaching. (And I’m leaning toward the fact that you are indeed NOT aware of that.) I’m not asking for much. It’s not my goal to have the body of a model. I just want to look and feel healthy. I want to wear a swimsuit without covering all up in sweatpants and sweatshirt when it’s 100 degrees outside.

I’m so confused. I don’t know what you need and what you don’t need. I’ve been reading all types of articles about what to feed you. First it was no carbs. Then it was no fat. Then it was yes to the carbs, but only the good carbs. Then it was no to the sugar. And yes to grains. No to aspartame, but also no to non-diet pop. Yes to water, but no to flavored water with too much sugar. No to bread, but yes to whole grain bread. No to beef, but yes to chicken. But not fried chicken. Yes to vegetables, but no to potatoes. Yes to fruits, but they also contain sugar so not too many fruits. Yes to calcium, but no to ice cream, cheese and milk.

On a show the other day, the nutritionist said that a meal that is healthy will be “colorful” due to the variety of fruits and vegetables. Brown = bad. But then I’m told that everything should be whole wheat/whole grain. In other words, brown.

So from what I’ve gathered, here is what I can feed you: plain ole water. Here’s to never being dehydrated again.

green3

We Don't Do Hot Tubs

I don’t think I told you, but we are on a mini-vacation this weekend. We’re in Minneapolis. It’s close enough to home that it didn’t cost us a plane ticket, yet far enough away so we don’t have to do laundry.

So Hubs has major issues with hotels. When we are away from home overnight, we basically take our bed with us – we haul 4 blankets and 4 pillows. And we don’t walk around in our barefeet. And don’t even get me started about the pool and hot tub area.

Let me preface this by telling you that Hubs has his CPO (certified pool operator) certification. So he knows about the chemical balance in pools and hot tubs. And he also knows that public hot tubs are f-ing gross.

You know those bubbles that float on the top of the hot tub water at the hotel pool? You think those make a hot tub more appealing? Think again. Those bubbles are the results of body oils, skin, hair, and other stuff that comes off or out of bodies. So the next time you think of making yourself a beard out of the hot tub bubbles, keep this blog posting in mind.

We’re headed back to Iowa tomorrow. I plan to walk back to Iowa in an attempt to work off the excessive amount of food I’ve inhaled this weekend. After breakfast at IHOP, of course.

Ignorance at the Flower Shop

I was standing in line today at the flower shop. There was a guy in front of me. His bill rang up to $120.00. Holy Moly. So I peered around him to see what the hell he was buying. On the counter was a pile of white roses – 45 to be exact. He told the lady at the counter that he was buying them because he had made his wife mad. I thought to myself, “He’s going to be in even more trouble when his wife finds out how much he spent on those stupid roses.”

He paid for his bundle, grabbed the teddy bear that he also included in his purchase, and left. When I made my way to the counter, I said something to the effect of , “Wow. That’s a lot of roses.” Not that I cared, I was just trying to make conversation and whatever. The lady appeared to be nice. And then she replied with this comment:

“Well let me tell ya somethin’. Hispanic men – they spend money. You’d never see a white man coming in here and spending that kind of money.”

What kind of statistics back up an ignorant comment like that? And I don’t even know who should be pissed about what she said – hispanic men or white men? Is she saying that hispanic men throw their money around like there’s no tomorrow? Or is she saying that white men are cheap assess who don’t know how to treat a lady?

I think that’s the first time I’ve ever typed the word assess.

Another Tooth, Another Dollar

Our tooth fairy is a idiot. When 3 lost his first tooth, he received $1.00. When the second tooth was lost, $2.00. Hopefully by now you get the pattern. Apparently our tooth fairy had “first child” syndrome and had no regard for limitations, the value of a dollar, or how to properly raise a child. In short, our tooth fairy was completely ignorant.

Let’s advance to age 10 ½. Today 3 lost his 11th tooth. That’s ELEVEN, folks. If you followed the pattern mentioned above, that’s $11.00 for losing a damn tooth.

Those of you who know me, I’m hereby warning you that I will look a little strange next time you see me. Tonight I will be pulling out all of my teeth and gently placing them under my pillow. Property taxes are due this week.

Things I Won't Wear

So I'm kind of pissed that luvthebearcats came up with her own little meme and totally trashed my wardrobe. Now she's all, "Those are things that I won't wear, not necessarily things that other people shouldn't wear." Whatever. So here goes my list...

Skinny Jeans. No, I won't wear these...at least not on purpose. There are two reasons for this. Number 1, I'm not skinny. (Hence the comment "not on purpose".) And secondly, I think they make women's feet look a mile long. Like I need the added enhancement in THAT department!

Ankle-Length Pants. I think they are cute, but I can only wear full-length pants or capri/gauchos. If I wear ankle length, people just think my pants are too short.

Ginormous Sunglasses. The "Stupid Girls" (kudos to Pink) wear those big freaking glasses. What's up with that?

Mini-skirts. The last time I wore a mini skirt was a maternity dress I had. What the hell was I thinking? Obviously I didn't give a rat's ass about how I looked, since I appeared to be carrying a child in each thigh as well as my stomach.

Tattoos. (back at ya, ltb). First, I don't like needles. Second, I'm not inclined to do something to body that I may find gross a few years from now. And third, I mean I REALLY hate needles!


~~Side note~~ Apparently there is a person in town who is breaking into people's homes. It happened to someone I know last night. And that scares the hell out of me. So if my dog suddenly freaks out, then I am going to freak out. Unfortunately my dog won't attack anyone. He'll just jump all over them and welcome them to our home. I'm screwed.

Don't Question It! Just Do It!

This skit had three of us rolling on the floor Saturday Night watching SNL. The fourth one doesn't have the same sense of humor as the rest of us...whatever. He also doesn't get Napoleon Dynamite.

If you are a parent who has had to endure hours of Dora torture, you have to watch this.

Cake Walk Queen

It's my goal to have my cake be the first one selected each year at the cake walk at our annual PTO carnival. Why do I enjoy that honor so much? Probably because I'm a crappy baker and people know this and they are always amazed at what I come up with. Year one was the best - a cake that looked like a hamburger. It took me hours to build but it was worth it. Last year was a football stadium. It came up a bit short on appearance and taste, but was not short on effort.

Really, folks, this is so out of my league. But here is my entry for this year, complete with a pizza box.

And it's not just a box cake. And it's homemade frosting. Eat 'em and weep, friends.

Gooey Goodness

This stuff is AWESOME! I'm not a jalapeno fan, but it was perfect in here. And if you didn't want to include the ham, it would still be excellent.


8 oz cream cheese, softened
2 T chopped green onions
16 oz sour cream
1 T jalapeños, chopped (5-8 slices)
3 C sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1 C diced ham
1 loaf French bread

Preheat oven at 350°. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, mix until fully incorporated. Cut off the top 1/3 of the bread (making a ‘lid’), remove the inside bread from the loaf and set aside to serve later. Fill bread ‘shell’ with filling. Replace lid and bake for 1 hour. Remove lid and continue baking for another 15 minutes (I leave my lid in the oven – set to the side of the loaf). Remove loaf from oven and let stand 5 minutes. Serve with bread pieces removed before baking.

Movie Madness

Well, I don't have anything better for ya, folks. My creative juices are SO not flowing this week.

Name a movie you have seen more than 10 times.

Grease
Sixteen Candles
Breakfast Club
Rain Man
Dirty Dancing

I know those are ancient. I don’t have time to see a movie more than 10 times anymore.

Name a move you’ve seen multiple times in a theater.
Yeah, that would be NONE.

Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn.

Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Keanu Reeves. He’s absolutely horrible.

Name a movie you can quote from.
You mean like THIS?

Do the chickens have large talons?

"She getting mawwwwied." "Married?” “Mawwwied!”

Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood.

Pepper needs new shorts!

Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs
Grease, of course.

Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with
Grease, of course

Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
Hands down, the Life of David Gale. Not a comedy, but a must-see.
And if you have the same sense of humor as me, then go for Dodgeball or Napoleon Dynamite. Feel good movie – Radio. If you have kids who play soccer and haven’t seen Kicking and Screaming, then I have no idea what’s wrong with you. You’re on your own. Fight Club is a must-see.

Name a movie that you own.
Just “a” movie? My library contains a wide range – make that VERY wide range – of movies. Here is a short list:
Wedding Crashers
Radio
Titanic
Joe Dirt
I have a ton of movies but for some reason my brain is dead. I would go look, but I’m really just trying to get this meme done and posted so I can go to bed.

Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
This probably doesn’t qualify, but it’s my blog so I can do whatever I want. I think Justin Timberlake is HILARIOUS. He totally rocks SNL when he hosts. Here’s a snippet from Ellen from this past Christmas:

Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
Yeah. I dunno.

Ever made out in a movie?
I’ve only been in one movie and I don’t recall that I was making out in it.

Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.
Reality Bites – No, I haven’t seen this. Am I too old now?

Ever walked out of a movie?
Hunt for Red October. And I wanted to walk out of Yu-Gi-Oh! That’s the very worst movie ever made.

What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?
Dodgeball, Napoleon Dynamite, Kicking and Screaming, Wedding Crashers,

Ok, there were more questions on this meme, but I’m done.

Better Mood

Sorry, readers, about the grumpiness of last night's post. Headaches will do that to ya. I'm in a much better mood today and it has nothing to do with the value of my stocks. (see side bar. or better yet, don't.)

Headache Post

I'm tired and I have a headache, but I still have a few minutes to shoot out a quick post. Here are a few random thoughts that are seeping out of my fingers tonight as I type.

I listened to a personal development CD on my way to work this morning and on my way home tonight. It was all about thinking positive, blah blah blah. But I'm still in a negative mood. I'm trying, people, I'm really trying.

This damn cat thinks it's ok to sit on the keyboard. When I push him off, he sits on the remote and changes the channel. I can't win.

I've been looking at pictures of that jumbo jet, but how the hell can I tell how big it is by looking at pictures?

I only got to see my kids for 30 minutes today because I was at a meeting until 10:00 tonight. That sucks.

So now I'm home and everyone is in bed.

My head REALLY hurts.

I'm thinking about changing my Netflix account so that I can get a movie, too. Unfortunately the boys know how to log on to our account and change the queue...therefore my movies never seem to arrive.

And finally, alcohol and cameras don't mix, do they luvthebearcats?

Stocks

I suppose it's not really a challenge anymore since we have most of our money wrapped up in the same stock. I'll still post our balances so you can keep track of how we're doing with our $1,000 starting balance! So far we're stinking pretty bad.

Have a great week everyone!

Stock Challenge Update

I give in. I've already sold some of my stock. I just can't pass up the cheap AENS, so I'm going in tomorrow morning. Not all in, because I still believe in TYL, but my remaining balance is all in -- at least for now. The info is posted on my sidebar.

My Brothers, The Hearthrobs

**UPDATED** I failed to mention to that both brothers are spoken for....Sorry gals.

I've never introduced you to my two little brothers, so here goes. First of all, I feel fortunate to have them for brothers. Love them both! Secondly, they seem to put up with their big sister ok. And third, they are awesome uncles. And guys who are good to my kids have an extra special place in my heart.


Ok, so there's all that. But did you know they are also hearthrobs? It's true. At least that's what women all over the world seem to think. Here are their pictures:

Uncle A

Uncle L

Ok, so maybe these aren't real pictures of them. But yes, my brother A looks exactly like Joaquin Phoenix. And brother L looks exactly like Andy Roddick, even down to the shape of his mouth. So those of you who know A and L, do you agree?

Ten Things

Ok, so I don't have some amazing post for you today but here are a few things that I can throw at you:

1. I bought the book The Secret and have started to read it. Seems, though, like I already had this book on my bookshelf under a different title - The Attractor Factor. While I believe that good things will happen if you think positive thoughts, I don't think it's because of some magnetic vibe. In my opinion, having positive thoughts puts you in more positive situations, helps people react positively to you, gives you better self-esteem, etc. But it's a "pretty" book so I'll finish reading it and it will stay on my shelf. Any comments from the audience?

2. Game On - finally. I was able to buy Hubs AENS stock for 82 cents per share. Quite a bargain if things go his way. But I've sold some of my stock already so now I need to find something else to buy. I might call "uncle" and go for AENS too. We'll see.

3. Another blogging baby has arrived. A BIG blogging baby. He's over here.

4. I have filled out an NCAA bracket. I have no idea why.

5. We are headed out for a very mini spring break trip tonight. We're not even leaving the state. But that's ok. We all need a break so we're getting the heck out of dodge!

6. I have showered, but I put my PJs back on. Yes, it's 12:30 and I'm still in my PJs.

7. Our dog is going with us tonight. I don't know 'bout that.

8. I don't have a number 8.

9. Am I to the bottom of the list yet?

10. Ahhhh....done.

GAME ON...kind of

**UPDATED**
So today was the start date for our stock competition. So I bought mine this morning and then went to buy Hubs. But apparently he has chosen such a crappy stock that it's only sold OTC. So I have to wait to purchase his tomorrow. I guess I get a day's head start, which hopefully will help me out. Or it could burn me severely.

My Picks

ADM - Archer-Daniels-Midland. They are the world's largest processors of soybeans, corn, wheat and cocoa.

TYL - Tyler Technologies. Yes, Chilihead, this is the company I work for. And we rock.

Total Purchase Price = 424.64

Hubs Pick

AENS - Alternative Energy Sources. They are building an ethanol plant just down the road from us. Their stock is dropping like a...well, I can't think of what it's like, but basically it means that it really can't go down a whole lot further.

Not purchased yet

So GAME ON...tomorrow.

Bring It On

A little competition never hurts a relationship. Especially if that competition makes you some money.

Starting tomorrow, Hubs and I will be embroiled in a stock market challenge. We will each spend $450 on stocks and see who can make the most money. We haven’t picked out a deadline for the competition so I suppose that whenever I get ahead, I’ll decide that the competition is over. Whoever makes up the competition also makes up the rules, right?

I’ll keep a running tab on my sidebar so you can all keep track of where we’re at. Check back tomorrow to see what stocks we’re bough.

Yours in financial nerdiness,
green3

The hills are alive with the look of mud.

So I open my email this morning and there is a picture of my brother, standing on top of a mountain, surrounded by all the Colorado beauty:

Whatever, ya bastard. So I emailed the below photo back to him, the boys surrounded in all our beauty:


Yes, that is a snowpile covered with mud.

I Wish

I wish Twinkies didn’t have carbs.

I wish heavy Mt. Dew didn’t have carbs.

I wish I wasn’t worrying about carbs.

I wish my cat would not wake up so early in the morning so that he could sleep with me.

I wish my cramps were not so bad right now.

I wish everyone could be happy.

I wish my house was already clean so I wouldn’t have to deal with it in the morning.

I wish I owned a bunch of real estate and I could live off the income from it.

I wish I didn’t have to wear glasses or contacts.

I wish I was a candidate for lasik surgery, but I’m not.

I wish I had tickets to this.

I wish I had the full DVD set of this.

I wish I would have had more time to look around Barnes and Noble tonight.

I wish Green had not dropped his red slushy drink in the middle of Barnes and Noble tonight.

I wish my picture I put on my blog wasn’t so hideous.

I wish it wasn’t 11:30 already.

I wish the auto numbering feature in Word would just somehow know when I wanted it to auto number something and when I didn’t.

I wish you would post your “I wish” list.

I wish all the people who visit my blog would leave a comment just once.

I wish I could get interested in the book I’m reading.

I wish you a fun and safe weekend!

BookCrossing

Are any of you a participant of BookCrossing? I think this looks cool. I have a stash of books that I'll never read and they are so hot on paperbackswap.com either. Maybe I'll send them out "into the wild." Sound fun!

New Babies on the Blogging Block

Stop over at Trattoria Breve and congratulate her on her twin babies!

I Can't Think of a Good Post Heading

Heh heh…I was informed that I was removed from someone’s blogroll after my last post. Whatever. Onward with my posting:

So I’m officially sick of winter. I’m sick of the cold, I’m sick of dealing with snow pants, boots, gloves, winter coats. But mostly I’m sick of my winter clothes.

Toward the end of each season, I fall into this mode. I always get sick of my clothes. Now I’m down to my standard weekly wardrobe, which I’m sure my co-workers are amused by. I can hear them now, “Is today her tan jacket thingy with the brown shirt, or is it the Iowa State University sweatshirt day?” Seriously. They probably won’t even recognize me when I come in later this week in a brand new shirt that I bought on clearance from Gap.

I do have a lot of other shirts I could wear, but they are like WAY in the back of my closet. Plus, those shirts tend to show the extra rolls that have formed over the winter and I really don’t want to subject anyone to that display.

Warning! Political Post!

I’m a proud Democrat, but I play well with Republicans. I’m married to one, but one that’s really not into politics so I don’t think that counts. My in-laws are about as Republican as they come and I have a feeling most of my friends are Republican. I’m well aware of where my opinions are accepted and where they are not. And my opinions totally rule on the Green3 blog.

Green3’s Top 10 Reasons Why Things Aren’t Looking Good for Republicans

10. Two big songs at the Grammys this year were Dixie Chicks’ “I’m Not Ready to Make Nice” and John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World to Change”. Coincidence? I think not. Maybe Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” also was giving some hints.

9. The Dems are weeding out the “extra” candidates. I think Vilsack is great, but he didn’t have the star power to succeed. The Obama wave will hopefully crash soon and dump all those surfers onto the beach. They’ll stand up, brush the sand off and think, “What the hell was that?”

8. I’m sick of playing “Where’s Osama?” What? You don’t remember him? He’s the guy who we’re SUPPOSED to be going after. And if you think he’s just been focused on keeping himself hidden for the past 6 years, you are mistaken. He’s smart, he’s crazy and he has money. He’ll be back.

7. Terrorists are insane. Bombing the crap out of them and sending our troops into their territory is not the answer. Terrorists love shit like bombs and dead Americans. We’re playing their game and they are loving it. And they are winning it.

6. Remember the November elections?

5. Bush’s advice to the recent tornado victims: “Hang in There.”

4. Ann Coulter is a Republican.

3. New Orleans is the same hell it was shortly after Katrina. Someone is going to have to step up to the plate and deal with that situation.

2. The United States is making enemies faster than Ann Coulter. Well, maybe not THAT fast, but you get my point. We’re throwing our power all over the planet. Others aren’t taking kindly to that.

And the number 1 reason why things aren’t looking good for Republicans…

1. George Bush is a hard act to follow. I doubt they can pull it off.

Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Or an alternate title could be Chilihead Is Finally Taking Over The World One Blog At A Time!

Silly Green 3. She is my cousin so she completely thought it was safe to give me her id/pw to help her out with her blog. Of course, I made some mistakes and now I have to fix them. One of the things I need to see is how her blog comes across in Bloglines. That's why I'm posting this incredibly mundane post. Stick around, though, Green 3 will be back shortly telling you what a dork I am and enthralling you with life in Iowa. Or as I like to call it: Blizzard Central.

Leave her lots of comments! She likes that!

Apparently I'm Not the Party Animal I Thought I Was...

...at least when it comes to the Ultimate Blog Party. I had all kinds of cool things to blog about this week, but never got excited enough to actually do it. I've been browsing other participating blogs. I found a few that interested me, but I found that most of them I don't have anything in common with - other than the fact that we have kids.

I've been thinking a lot about the "mommy blogger" title. I'm 100% a mom, and I blog, but does that make me a mommy blogger? Few of my blog entries talk about what we had for dinner or what funny thing my kid said today. Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing that, but that's not why I blog.

I blog because it's the one place I have all to myself where I can say whatever I want. If I feel a swear word will get my point across a little better, I'll use one. I may talk a little about politics, books I'm reading, favorite drinks, or something I find funny. I just find this as my one place to "get away from it all" since I can't physically get away from it all.

So instead of a mommy blogger, I've decided to call myself a "me blogger". And I don't feel selfish about it. This 20 minutes a day helps me keep my sanity.

I'm BAAAAACK!

Oh.My.God.

My Internet is working again.

So I will be back later with my first installment of "Weird Stuff That I Own" - complete with pictures!

And for you blog partiers, I'll be making the rounds today!

It's My Party and I'll Post If I Want To

So you’ve finally come across the life of the party…welcome!

I had all sorts of fancy ideas for my first blog post, but LADIES – I had to go to a friend’s house to get online. I’ve been without Internet for 2 days now and it is giving me random twitching. Seriously. Hello, I’m green3 and I’m an Internet and Email addict

I’m looking forward to meeting a lot of new blog friends! Here is a link to 100 Things About Me and I would LOVE it if you would leave a comment! Stop back and visit because I am going to be sharing all kinds of awesome stories.

My 100 Things

Check out other partiers at 5 Minutes for Mom.

She Is...

I'm proud to nominate Sandy for a Perfect Post Award for her February 7 post called I Am. I don't know Sandy IRL, but I can tell she is a fun, caring person who I would be honored to call a friend. Her blog post makes you smile, giggly, and cry all at once. I encourage you to stop by and read her blog, but especially read I Am. You'll be glad you did.

Check out other Perfect Posts, hosted by Suburban Turmoil and MommaK.

Top 10 Reasons I Love My February 29th Birthday

10. My house isn’t all cluttered with thoughtful birthday presents.

9. My kids take me to school for show & tell.

8. Though it’s not legal, I pay taxes once every 4 years too.

7. How many of you got a car for your 4th birthday?

6. I still pay children’s prices at the theater.

5. Lack of birthday cake has kept me relatively thin.

4. There’s nothing good about it. I just wanted to guilt you in to leaving a comment on my blog.

3. Dumb people think you are supernatural.

2. For 3 out of every 4 years, I get to celebrate whenever the hell I want.

And the number 1 reason I like having a birthday on February 29,

1. Between my birthday and the damn groundhog, February is a month long party.



Some items on this list have been ripped off from Letterman.

Non-Green3 Blog Topics

I haven’t had much to write about lately. My life has consisted of the constant flow of laundry, getting income taxes prepared, blizzard-like conditions and cat poop on the carpet. And seriously, who wants to read about that crap?

I have still had time to monitor other blogs though – ones I don’t normally read. I’ve run across a wide range of topics. While searching through them, I almost burst out laughing at some topics. Not because they were necessarily funny. They are just blog entries that you’ll never read about here at The Green 3.

So now I present you with a list blog headings that you will never read about here…

How to Organize Ribbons

How to Organize Extra Buttons.

Hell, How to Organize Anything

Homeschooling Tips
Don’t email me about this. I have strong opinions about homeschooling but I respect your opinion – even if I think you are dead wrong.

Ann Coulter Knows What She’s Talking About

Documentaries are For Dorks

I promise I’ll be back with a vengence for some good ‘ol fashion blogging. I’ve got my list of blog topics ready for next week’s Ultimate Blog Party,

Tomorrow’s my birthday, so could you send some love my way and post a comment on my blog? De-lurk for the love of my birthday!

It's Hot in Topeka

I can't tell you how many people make their way to my blog by searching on "I'm a Hot Toe Picker." I hope like hell they are fans of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. And if they aren't, GROSS!

Cool Stuff

Here's some cool stuff I've found tonight while surfing instead of cleaning or doing something productive:

Cold Stone coupon - buy one get one free
expires 2/28

SmartSampling.com - register and you get to request various free samples. Another blogger friend vouched for this site and said she has received everything she's ever requested.

I'm downloading this software and will provide a review once I start using it. A free family organization software that I can log on from ANYWHERE? Can't thing of anything better than that!

Google will give you $10.00 to spend if you sign up with their shopping account. Even if you only us it once, it's a free ten bucks!

Check out this blog. She has an amazing collection of links to free stuff in her Free Friday posts.

Ultimate Blog Party

So I’ll be participating in the Ultimate Blog Party, as you can see by that new button on the right. The rules state that I’m supposed to post that week about ME, which will be awesome because I’m sure everyone out there in blog world wants to know more about green3. But I’m torn about exactly what I can share that will make people love me and want to come back to my blog again and again and again and post all sorts of crazy comments.

Do I share about how I’m a Democrat who plans to campaign heartily for Hillary Clinton because I think she rocks? Don’t hate her because she’s a female who speaks her mind, folks. And speaking of that…

Will people love me if I tell them that this feels like my theme song these days?
I was born in the south
Sometimes I have a big mouth
When I see something that I don't like
I gotta say it
All true, and I was born south of Minneapolis. That’s what Sheryl Crow meant, right?

Will anyone have a “to be read” bookshelf in common with mine?
Arlington National Cemetary: Shrine to America’s Heroes
Hannibal
A Rose for Her Grave

Are there other bloggers out there who have used the online thesaurus to find a synonym for “whore”?

Yes, I’m sure I’ll meet some lovely new friends out there. If you want to join along, follow the link on the side and get yourself signed up.

Urgent, Not by Foreigner

I have an urgency problem, but it has nothing to do with urinating. My problem is that when an idea pops into my head, I have to deal with it immediately. This drives me absolutely crazy, and I’m sure it drives the people around me crazy.

The main reason it drives me crazy is that there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that might come into my head. Here are some of the things that seem to be of urgency today:

• Laundry needs to be folded and put away
• Today is bill paying day
• Need to get tax information ready for the tax dude
• In the middle of developing a web page for my kids to use
• The entire house needs to be cleaned
• I want to get meals prepared for the whole week

Oh yeah, and none of that can happen until I finish work today.

And those are just the mundane tasks that need to get done. This list doesn’t even consider the “bigger picture” to do list that I continually swirling in my head. All of which seems urgent for some reason. We have big goals for ourselves (we being me and hubs) but I want them to happen right now. Where is my magic genie when I need her?

I Don't Laugh Out Loud

When I laugh, it's just kind of an inner "ha ha" type of thing. I don't laugh out loud for some reason. I don't know why because I LOVE comedy and humor. But I could watch a comedy show and sit there all night and not laugh out loud. I'll smile and think to myself, "That was awesome," but I very rarely laugh out loud. I don't get it, but whatever.

But then one of my Netflix comedy shows arrived and I was introduced to Lewis Black. He.Cracks.Me.Up....OUT LOUD! Enjoy...



And that was just a sample. I suggest you You Tube him. He rocks.

Ford Festiva vs. Chrysler Pacifica

Dear Ford Festiva Lady,

It occurred to me this morning that you have no clue, so let me fill you in on some rules.

Rule 1
When you drop your child off at school, there is no reason to park right next to the car next to you. This is especially true when the car next to you is dent-free and clean, while yours is covered in dents, not clean, and appears to be a piece of crap.

Rule 2
You probably parked right next to me because your windows were so filthy you could not see out of them. I’ll give you the three bucks for a car wash if it will keep you the hell away from my car.

Rule 3
When your child throws her door into the car next to you, so much to make the car shake, at least acknowledge it. Yeah, I got out and assessed the damage. I waited for you to also get out of your car but you were chicken. You were probably scared of my black leather high heel boots, which is a correct assessment. I could kick your ass all the way to moon with these babies.

Rule 4
When you’ve just damaged someone’s car and that person is standing at your window and glaring at you, don’t sit in your car, hat pulled over your head, staring straight ahead. It’s a sure sign that you don’t have insurance.

Love always,
green3

Life in the Fast Lane

I want to give a shout out to my good friend momof4greatkids, who has access to high speed Internet today!

I'm not much of an organizer, but here is something I do know.

Are you tired of going to all of your favorite blogs several times each day to see if a new entry has been posted? If you say no, then you must have a Bloglines account. If you scream YES, IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!, then I’m pretty sure you need to click over to Blogging Basics 101 and read up on Bloglines.

Bloglines allows you to sign up for an account, which then lets you add all the links to your favorite blogs. The site monitors all of your blogs for you and informs you of when a new post is available. What a timesaver!

By the way, Blogging Basics 101 is a site every newbie should visit. Heck, even if you are not a newbie I guarantee you’ll learn something. I know those girls over there and they are wicked smart.

No Pun Intended

Here's a little humor for my blogging buddies. Hope your Valentine's Day is awesome!

Note: I've updated my other blog if you have any interest in checking those out. The links are to the right.


1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says toDolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

Is It Me?

Maybe I'm the father of Anna Nicole's baby.

Dudes

Green and 3 are determined to grow their hair out. And I have chosen to pick my battles, which this is not one of. My only rule was that they had to wait until after Christmas. So I now present two handsome boys with shaggy hair.


And just so you know, they are VERY handsome with trimmed hair.

One Word Meme

I stole this from Sandy, who stole it from someone else. That's what blog friends are for, right?

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not as easy as you might think...



1. Where is your cellphone?
purse

2. Your spouse/signifant other?
fun

3. Your hair?
short

4. Your favorite item?
Wireless

5. Your dream last night?
unknown

6. Your favorite drink?
dew

7. Your dream car?
SUV

8. The room you are in?
basement

9. Your Fear?
kids

10.What do you want to be in 10 years?
happy

11. Who did you hang out with last night?
family

12. What you're not?
athletic

13. Muffins?
nope

14. One of your wish list items?
Property

15. Time?
bedtime

16. The last thing you did?
scorekeeper

17. What are you wearing?
sweats

18. Your favorite weather?
hot

19. Your favorite book?
Non-fiction

20. The last thing you ate?
pudding

21. Your life?
hectic

22. Your mood?
hopeful

23. Your best friend?
Hubs

24. What are you thinking about right now?
vacations

25. Your car?
Pacifica

26. What are you doing at the moment?
meme

27. Your summer?
fast

28. Your relationship status?
married

29. What is on your tv?
dust

30. The weather?
tundra

31. When is the last time you laughed?
today

32. Last time you cried?
unknown

I assume this means I'll be getting a refund? or maybe a reufnd?

So in my last post I was all, "Neener neener neener. I've got new appliances and you don't. I love my new stuff and I have so much counter space now" and all that jazz. But I may have forgotten to tell you that I'm a cheap ass. I had no intention of spending a lot of money on those new appliances, so I found the features I needed and bought the cheapest one available.

Which brings me to my Euro-Pro toaster oven. I'm sure some of you have uppity appliances such as Oster, Kenmore, Maytag, and whatnot. Not us. We stick with Euro-Pro.

And now we're paying the price. Or maybe I should say "priec". Take a close look at the snapshot of the Euro-Pro below. Oh yes...the power button is labeled "POEWR".

Oh - I'm Supposed to Change That?

A major milestone happened in the green3 household today. It's something we avoided for 11 years. We tried to ignore it. It was a sensitive issue and each time one of us brought it up, the other one ran like hell. But Hubs and I finally looked at each other this morning and decided we had to step up and address it before it took over our home and our lives, even if it was going to be traumatic for us.

The vent over the stove, the filter that had sucked (or from what I could see, not sucked) our grease for the past 11 years, had to be changed.

We both looked at the ominous task lying before us this morning. We covered our hands in paper towels and carefully unscrewed the cover. I wish I had a picture to show you, but frankly I was not thinking, "Hey, a photo op!", while I was chisling the filter loose from the cover. At least I think it was a filter - it was hard to tell.

We made a trip to the city to purchase a replacement filter, but to our surprise there is apparently a limited supply of replacement filters for overhead vents that were installed in 1954.

And speaking of gross stuff, I also decided to tackle the microwave this morning. If you have a microwave that is 8+ years old, open the door and take a look at the ceiling of it. Or if you have a weak stomach, make your spouse do it. If you see what I saw, you'll immediately unplug it and haul it out to the garbage. "Hey Honey, could you also put microwave on our shopping list?"

Hubs replied, "Well, since we're getting rid of gross crap, take a look at that toaster oven. You know, the one you've been trying to scrub clean for the past year. Yeah, that needs to go too." Check.

Since my kitchen is nice and clean (or I should say, NEW) tonight, I've decided I'm not cooking for a few weeks. I don't want to mess things up. We can just pick up some fast food as we search the country looking for a 1954 stove vent filter.